Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A friends son with Brain injury is dying....

While I was on the Re-bounder, in our Basement, Oatie sat himself on the kiddy keyboard stool all by himself and I quickly snapped a photo of him.  Later he "demanded" his ABR... I think he thought I took too long in the Shower...

A friend of mine posted an excellent post on his blog. Questionning the big man himself...  you can click the link to read it.

Well, my personal beliefs have altered significantly since I found out Oatie's diagnosis.  But one thing that I do believe in is some of the people you are "destined" to meet.  I always think of that film "sliding doors" with Gwyneth Paltrow, I wouldn't say it was a favourite of mine buy one that comes to mind now.  If you're wondering... my FAVOURITE 'film' is "Pride and Prejudice" - Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle BBC 1995 TV Adaptation. 

When I worked at Heathrow, I checked in my Future Father in-law before I officially met my husband.  He (my Father in-law) was such a lovely man, he had impeccable manners and such an English Gentleman.  It was his birthday and he way flying to the far east on Business and I was teasing him about his birthday and made sure the Cabin Crew spoilt him rotten.  After he left my desk, I said to my friends either side, "don't you just wish he had a son...?"  Before that I saw this guy (my husband now) at the gym, we shared the same machine and well I liked his six-pack, we had done this without much dialogue for 6 months... and one-day I was running on the treadmill at the gym, and the speakers blew up, anyway he was Yawning I know now... but because of the cracking speaker sound, I thought he said Hi... so I stopped the treadmill and I asked him... out but for two weeks time as I was going to the Gambia with some friends that I worked with.  Well when I gave him my address and number I saw his surname... and I was like is your dad a "BA gold card holder?"... he was like "errrrrr..." , and I said is your dad's birthday and recalled the date... and he was like Yes (this was 4 months later) and I told him how I had checked his dad in... and well the rest is history.  It's our 11 wedding anniversary this year.  Yes... Yes... we were a 2000 wedding.

One of my very dear friends I only met last December, first in our Adult skate class, she was a top level skater and after not skating for 10 years went for her Axel!  We then met one week later on Christmas eve family skate, and she caught me from falling...we hadn't really said any more than Hello to each other...as my eldest was chatting to her daughter who had just joined our skating club and then, one morning in Jan I went to drop my daughter and her son had just joined my daughter's preschool class and then about one hour later, we bumped into each other at the running track... and the that was it, we were instant friends... she told me a few months back, that because of my accent that she couldn't understand a word that I was saying for the first 6 weeks of our friendship, but she said she knew two things that, she liked me and knew we'd be friends...

I have met Phil, Sharon and Adam, who are such an amazing, wonderful, loving family and hope to meet Aimee one day too.

Well another mum from that preschool class, my daughter and her son hit it off straight off... and Independently, my son and her daughter were both in the same Ballet class, but the four of them had NEVER met, so it took this mum and I a few months to work out that our kids had independently become friends with each others siblings!  Well it's this mum who has this horrible chapter coming up in her life...She's a mum of 5, and her 3rd child a son, who was born fine, but due to medical negligence at the hospital, long story, but he ended up with a brain injury to his pituitary gland mainly, and now the part of the brain that controls his Cardiovascular system is seizing which will result in this lovely child's heart stopping and starting and one day he'll just die in his sleep and from what his mum was saying they think it will be soon, so he won't make it being 10, she told everyone yesterday by email late last night.  They are such a lovely family, I feel so useless, I can't take away their pain, or make them feel better, so apart from my endless supply of hugs...so I have offered my shoulders....and that I'm there... 

Well Today I saw this mum, (the son who's dying)  in the car-park and the poor love, got out the car ran across sheet ice and fell into my arms..... For someone who likes to chat a lot (Me) I'm verbally rubbish in such situations, but at least my hugs seem to be good.

Phil, I feel a line forming should you meet "the man" I think there's another mother who'd like to have a word....


  1. It's a wonderful and very insightful post. So sad about your friend's son. Our kids, though, are so full of resilience, light and strength that they thoroughly surprise us. I have never been much impressed with doctors or with their diagnosis of anything. Only can take one day at time!

    I am always amazed at how people are brought into our lives and stay there and am always grateful for friends like you and your family...probably because we share much in common and have similar experiences and challenges. It's to bad that we are so geographically distant.

    Glad, also that Oatie loves his ABR. I have always felt for those parents whose kids fought them tooth and nail about ABR or were so dystonic that you had to literally tie them down to cooperate. In a small way we are lucky.

    Next blog for me is the person-in-charge's letter back to me...now that will have to take a lot of thought and care...?

  2. Dear Phil, what's even sader is that this boy's mum has something along the lines of emphysema and if she carries anything heavier than a few kg's she almost passes out. They are such a lovely family and I have known her for 2.5 years and it's been heartbreaking watching what they have been through.

    We're grateful to have you too, I feel that we have known each other forever, I know what we share much in common, but for me it's more than that, it's yours, Sharon and Adam's Aura, I can't explain it any other way that that.

    I'll put a bit about Oatie's first ABR experience in our post today... I think tylenol sales went through the roof that week.

    Really looking forward to your next post, I don't envy you the job, but if anyone can do that justice, it would be you.

  3. oh that poor boy and his family life is so unfair. I'm sure she really glad she has a friend like you to reach out too for support.

  4. Dear Sherry,

    Thank you for your lovely words. They really are such a nice family, and it is unfair, they are the type who'd share their last grain of rice. When we first moved here they were so lovely and welcoming.


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