Saturday, March 5, 2011

A change... a good change but a change...

I'm perplexed, doesn't happen often but, I'm had a few moments of actually looking, not believing my eyes and looking again! I suppose it was subtle, but just a good few 'subtles' today which was eyebrow raising for me.

If I could ever have multiple me's like Multiplicity (with Michael Keaton), I would kind of love. The rest of the world wouldn't as there would never be any peace for a start and if they could chat half as much as I can... then it would be "God save the world", as I am a Gemini too, but 50-50 extrovert-Introvert straight down the line.

Well I have decided what "jobs" they would all have. I'm sure you who read my blog can guess what, one for ABR, one for running the house... But ultimately I don't think I could as they would be like Slaves and I just couldn't stomach that. I wouldn't mind employing someone to help, but they would have to treated "tiptop" for sure.

The reason I think of Multiplicity.... is the balance, my plate spinning goes awry at times, I hear a few chinks of of Stoneware hitting the floor. I would say China, but I only like my cup of tea in China. Good old Stoneware is so durable.

My "old life" was predictabley boringly balanced, too balanced, I like running things to perfection, (OK i'll admit it) it was a tad dull,... there is never a dull moment now! Be careful what you wish for!!!

Today my younger two had teacher training days, (I can hear you shouting WHAT ANOTHER ONE!!!) like I said between Oatie picking up every illness at school... and the Teacher Training days of 3 different school calendars... I have job some days working out who is meant to be in the car and who isn't!

Well, I decided to take my daughter to the public figure skate, not because she was lacking in ice time but just to spend some one on one with her. She skated this evening for another 1.5 hours but we went for a giggle together, we held hands, she looked at my 3 turns, and we really enjoyed it too. The trade off was Oaties ABR so I did manage 1 hour and I thought one hour is better than no hours and well it has a knock on to the dishwasher not being run and then adds a few chinks to my well oiled machine. Oatie is still having everyday 10-14 hours of ABR Machine a night. I suppose I wish I could be there for everyone whenever they need me (highly unrealistic) but it was what my "old life" before his diagnosis was like and I did really enjoy the freedom of the past, I don't want it to sound bad as I love Oatie just as much as my other two, and in some ways he's the least trouble as he always does his best and listens most of the time and doesn't have strops. What I mean is, I liked being able to "waste an afternoon chatting to a friend about nothing", or not multitasking EVERYTHING, all the time, and as long as the basics were done, laundry, dinner sorted, school run and clean kids, didn't really have a care in the world, I suppose the simplicity. Hence the thought of multiplicity.

I thought this was going to be a short post! Well I wished I could roll (ABR) Oatie more, not because anyone is making me do it, or out of guilt as I don't feel guilty about what happened to him. But on days like today, for a fleeting moment I do wish I got our "usual" hours in, especially when you see him progressing.

Here's why I was, he spontaneously asked for food, when offered lunch he said no, later!, and then told me which pudding he'd like, when I said it wasn't available (he hmmmmmmed and then said something else), he stoutly was opinionated, used words I had never heard him use before and, pushed his other cart that he couldn't hold even if I was holding it he'd fall over (I felt bad for buying it as it seemed cruel that he had this toy and couldn't use it, so I hid it in a corner behind the door in the playroom for the past 2 years)..., today he got it out, did squats with it and pushed it along and I was like, OMG!!!! and said to my husband "did you see that?" he looked up and just said yes (automatically) thinking Oatie was with his usual more sturdier cart, when he looked up again and went OH! He found two stuffies from this cart, decided they were friends, and gave them names and told me what they liked!?!?!? (OMG!) Watching Skating this evening he sat on the bench watching his DVD holding his dad's hand (usually he'll stand up) and he walked to get his bedtime water and opened the underbed-drawer to get his ABR machine out, and well he was just "different" like a good change had happened again, nothing major, but all the little bits really added up to "WOW" for me, and that's why I couldn't believe my eyes.

Well it's our Friday night Date Nite, our Takeout/Takeaway is arriving soon, so I'll leave you in peace... for now! Hope you all have a great weekend too.

Love Oatie's Mum (Mel xxx)
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