OMG the photo! no before you report me to Blogger it isn't a part of anyone's reproductive areas... it's VOCAL CORDS!!! (NOT MINE!!!) but what I'm ranting about today!
Well those who have been following for a while, will know that I have had a "lump" in my throat. I lost my voice for a month around Christmas (yes my hubby cracked open the Champagne), and well since then I felt like something was "ripping off" if I was swimming fast or ran fast...
YES, I was also told that I was "imagining" it by the walk in clinic, and well my GP did say that he would refer me and it was a 5 month wait.... I waited and waited and well, despite our fabulous Canada Post strike, I hadn't heard and went to see him, taking OATIE and my husband, we kind of had to squeeze in his Cupboard of a consulting room, I'm sure he felt that my husband and Oat were HEAVIES!
Well as it turns out, I was NEVER referred to the Ear Nose Throat guy at all... I apparently had to go for a test that he told me it was "optional" 'something to fill the time, while I was waiting for the referral' OK you can throw the EGGS now! WHO, WHO has time like that to just saunter down to a clinic often down town 45 mins away to go and sit there and have a not very useful xray done to fill the time!
WHO more so when you're caring for someone who isn't independent AT ALL! YES I know I should have gone back for more visits and pestered the guy, but he was good for his word till then.
What I thought was unforgivable, was that he left my referral letter WAITING on his desk on wait for the return of this "optional" scan... and then FILED IT! YES he FILED IT!.... I could have had CANCER and he FILED it, not a single call from his office, like 'are we still your Dr's?', where's the test results, are you ALIVE!!!!! WE'RE CONCERNED YOU NEED THIS SCAN..... nope NOTHING!
So anyway, during our AMBUSH!, the Dr said well it's probably nothing, so my husband said, if it's nothing then PROVE IT, right here, right now!
I went on to saying that my quiet speaking was a loud as I could get, and it's got to the ridiculous in our house, I'm using messenger from the kitchen to call my family down for dinner, and as I can't shout, I ask Oatie to go up and hound everyone and he likes repeating sentences so he bludgeons them till they cooperate!
So anyway, within one hour of leaving his office, I get an appointment to see an ENT!. I went on Wednesday and..... well despite I have not much confidence in this man, I will get to that in a minute.... and think **** he's operating on my throat!!! The lump is so ANNOYING! that I just want it out!
Well here's how it went... I turn up, wait half an hour, they leave all the consulting doors open so you can wave at the other people, he has 5 patients on the go... So I tell him about my symptoms and he's looking at me like MAD crazed ENGLISH WOMAN... I tell him it's on the LEFT,and yes I could see the eye roll that took place non visually with him. So he grabs the device I was dreading the fibre optic which goes up your nose, along you eye sinus and down your throat! The classic "It doesn't hurt!!!) Hhhhmmmm!!
Anyway, he pulls it out and says, what side did you say! I'm like the LEFT! he said how do you know that? I'm like I can feel it, it aches and I know it's the left.... Well you have a BENIGN Granuloma! A growth that should be removed.... on the vocal cords....
So I'm like great it's benign, expecting to wait a month to have it out... relieved to know what it is... anyway he gives me antacids when I never even had heartburn when I was +70lb's pregnant, I think I've burped twice that I ever remember and once was trying on purpose with my brother after drinking a whole can of coke when I was 11!
Since looking on the net, I found out that it could be from Neck Trauma and he never asked if I had that, I did crack a bone in my neck 8-9 years ago from a obese out of control snowboarder who decided to use a 124lb woman (me) as crash mat! he came over a ridge flying mid air and I was downhill skiing in my beautiful parallels straight down looking elegant and thunk he just landed on me!
So, after he said that and I was counting out the weeks for month for the opp in my head... he said to his receptionist, "we have a queue jumper!" I'm like well WHY??? he just looked at me? Well I don't like the look of it! (I'm like it's benign....) I said why do I get to jump the queue, what about the other similar cases before me, and you said it WAS benign, so what's the rush. He said that it HAS to be out within 2 weeks! Still reeling taking a step back, I'm having admittance and next of kin forms to fill in... going WTF?
arghghghg is what I'm thinking.... so I fill it out, and hand it back, and the receptionist said is July 5/6th OK? I'm like sorry!!! did you say the week after next? She apologised and said she wished it was sooner, as they are trying to OPEN ANOTHER OPERATING THEATRE FOR ME! I'm shaking my head thinking WTF? She's looking at me all teary-eyed... and I'm scowling at her like WHAT!!!!
Why would you be opening another operating theatre for me, when its BENIGN! WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME? I asked her repeat the date as I was shocked it was within 2 weeks.
Well the next morning I get a call, Yesterday, asking if I can go in on MONDAY they had a cancellation, they said they still wished it was SOONER! ! ! I'm like WHY!!!!???? I don't know what to make of the mixed messages... just that it will be chopped out on Monday....
So, today I spent the entire day at the hospital.... for PRE-OP, don't get me started... about that! (It's basically a waste of government funding having a department that you meet the anaesthetist and check that you won't die during the procedure....) England is rather awful, but you spend one day there. The idea is to make the operating day smoother... so I was told I'd be in and then out...
Now after doing the pre-op and being told that I'm a super candidate for being operated on... they say they want you 3 hours before and will be in 4 hours after, so how is that streamlining ANYTHING!?!?!?
OH! and the best bit is that they won't tell you what time to be at the hospital till the afternoon-evening before. I did say that I have a 'special guy' that one person, stepped forward to look after my Oatie, and this lady has 4 kids of her own around my kids ages and one older. And I need it to be done in the morning, so this poor woman doesn't have 7 under 12's in her home one of which has CP! (as her 4 will all be at School for the day) so she'll have my eldest and Oatie for the day..... and if it's an awful time, then she may not be able to help me as her husband doesn't get home till 7pm! They were like NOPE! you get what you get... I was like don't you have ANY COMPASSION!!! I'm ASKING BECAUSE I NEED THIS, I NEED to know that my 3yr old CHILD who no one wants to look after, is and can be looked after by the one person who has offered/able to! I wouldn't be ASKING if I had 3 able-bodied children. I DON'T and I've given up today to help you do what you need for the day and I'm asking that you take in to consideration that I have a kid with special needs, and if you don't know already, NO ONE WANTS TO LOOK AFTER KIDS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS!!!! (sorry for the generalisation, but you know what I mean...) and yes today I felt very much in the sphere of the world of disability... thinking OMG I thought going on a plane was BAD! There is 'nothing' for the caregiver of permanently dependent dependents...! I could have asked a friend to pick me up, but not being able to utter a single word, I can see that right from recovery room, I need someone who pretty much finishes my sentences to be my advocate to stand up for me.... as after all the other general anaesthetics I've always been able to ask for water or ask for my husband.
They said I would be in pre-op today for 1-2 hours, well I was there for 2.5 hours!!! YIPEE, this is what they did, they asked me to take any medication that I'm on with me, listened to my chest, took my heart rate and BP and my weight and height! and THAT's IT! like REALLY!!! What was the point of that. After that I went for my CT scan that was scheduled from our AMBUSH... so which they never told me that the CT involved intravenous dye!
So I will not be able to speak for 10-14 days, not a sound.... (I know, I should have got some sponsorship money in for charity as well those who have met me know that I like to chat...) and I raised £1000 for a one day sponsored silence when I was a teen (Yep I talk THAT much) so two weeks! WOW!
Well I'm going out tonight with me fellow Scouters for a celebration of another year... and enjoy my last drink till I will get some "liquid lunch in" for next week!!! lol! Go Guinness!!! As I can't swallow lumps for a while...
Well at least I have my Oatie, who will play the piano for me....
Well, if it is benign, I'm lucky! so very lucky!!!!, there is so much worse out there, so much worse, what I was struck, by being in the hospital today, was lots of people were in the halls, walking around, being wheeled around like it was their second home.... and all ages, and I was like, I know having a special one to care for is challenging, but at least we're at home and not in this sphere. So my heart and best wishes go out to all those who are in hospital on an ongoing-long term basis...