Saturday, September 11, 2010

Sneezy Saturday

Today Oatie developed a light cold, so we decided not to do bench with him today. I thought it wouldn't be much fun trying to roll him while he was sneezing or comfy so hopefully we'll be back to our usual routine by Monday. The ABR team are great, if your child is ill, if you let them know, they will adjust your exercises for them to make them more comfortable, it's so nice having that support. I think the difference that I feel with ABR to other things is that you know that they truly genuinely care about your child, you're not just a cheque book, they actually love and value each and every family, which I still find surprising, but it has been consistently so since day one.

Oatie has got so into pre-school, that yesterday he could hardly stand up, he would try when he came out his class but staggered like he was "drunk" (metaphorically speaking). It is lovely that he loves School so much.

Just today Oatie's dad was admiring the improvement in Oatie's hand dexterity. I was slightly baffled by Oatie Rocking back and forth, thinking "Oh No!" has something happened to him. Until Oatie's dad pointed out that he's doing that because he now CAN! I was like "Oh yeah" he couldn't do that before, it was like he was doing AB exercises, he was sitting on a step in lowered den area, and leaning as far back as his abs would take and then releasing and coming upright again. How amazing is that!

I would like to one day, do a psychological survey on tragedy; there is probably already one done but, I would love to study the human psyche on the phenomenon after a tragedy. For example; when someone dies, people are all over the bereft family like the plague, and then after a month or so (probably when the family needs people the most) the support network diminish, they the 'people' get back to their own life... or after Haiti another example, I was glad when a group of musical artists got together to write the song about the disaster, saying once it falls out of the news, people forget - how true is that! I am beginning to feel it's the same when you find out your child is 'disabled'. For example, at first, we'll be there... then after a month or so, no one is there except a handful of people, who don't have to do a physical task, but are there in the wings, letting you bend their ear, or have a rant or point out the improvements they've seen in Oatie (which inspire me to keep on rolling* bottom of this post). Then you see some of the other people who were kind of there, either then looking at your life in 'horror', or that you're making a mountain out of a molehill, or pity or worse still... AVOIDANCE. I don't know about the other mum's out there, I think I might try and get us mum bloggers out there together. I do not want PITY, no way. But I know I have no right to ask, but if I did, I would like some 'understanding'. Every family has their own bags of 'stuff' to deal with, some are more visible than others, every family have their ups and downs and trials and tribulations for sure. For example Oatie's disability is visible. One of our best friends nieces born just 2 hours earlier than Oatie has more severe life challenges but are not as visible, but have had a far greater emotional roller coaster than we've had.

I'm beginning to feel like a multi level compartment rather than a plate spinner, trying to encompass everyone's needs (Including my own - which I am now achieving) and it doesn't always work, nor does it to perfection which would be my natural aim. But I think it's good enough most of the time but I refuse us to let the disability dominate our lives, but at the same time to embrace it, and I try and keep our other two kids life as normal as possible, we are not ashamed of having a child with Cerebral Palsy at all, instead we look at each of our children (Oatie included) in wonder, thinking how much cooler, sassy, switched on at their respective ages than say I or my husband were when we were that age. A compartment rather than a plate spinner , I suppose trying to give everyone including Oatie "time out" from the disability. But then making sure that we all do deal with the disability. Cherish the moments where we've had improvements in anyone of us and band together/stand shoulder to shoulder in each member of our family/team times of need.

(The inspiration to keep on rolling...)*Don't get me wrong that I don't not believe in ...ABR, I do wholeheartedly. It's the same amount of hours that I'm doing as a part-time job, a stay at home mum of three, cook, cleaner and chauffeur etc etc... (more housework then if you go to work) I know that from working part-time, full-time and staying at home before, during and after the kids were born, but it's not like doing a job, a job, you usually get to leave the house, interact with others either face to face or via other methods of communication and you get usually get a salary unless you're a volunteer. It's more like a 'discipline' when you roll, most people are probably alone, my husband works from home so I'm not... But it can be lonely but rewarding with the results, I used to run half marathons and every bench session is the same mindset for me, visualize the end, today's goal and keep going.

Okay, I'm breaking the mold, most people put a gloss over things, but I thought I'd just tell you how it is. BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop

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