top tip to kill a conversation or have people walk away!

My theory on making people walk away with a set phrase works every time! Yep. if you want anyone to walk away in North America, just talk about School busses not having seat belts. It worked last year and well it still works this year too!

Well aside from that I ended up having a lively debate about aides/school.

A person I know was telling me about a child who has Attention deficit disorder, and how this child was EXCLUDED from class until the Mother gave in to medicate the child. Now I have absolutely no knowledge/first hand experience on ADD and surprisingly no opinion on to medicate or not as I have never personally researched it so please don't think I have an opinion...as I don't. The reason for my pointing this out is, that this child who has ADD, was described as "dangerous to the other children, violent etc" and the fact that this child ended up on medication was a TRIUMPH, when the mother gave in.

AT which point, I pointed out, well what about Oatie? this time last year, he was labelled as a DANGER to his classmates, and violent and angry. Where as the actual truth was, that he was being bullied by 3-4 other kids in his class and it wasn't until several months of me fighting the principle did we eventually get it to stop and for her to see the light! Oatie didn't need to be medicated, he was being bullied! Point being it depend which end of the spectrum that you stand at... isn't it!

How I finally got the matter to rest was a public display out outrage from me...when Oatie didn't attend the field trip to the fire station and I went to the preschool room to tell the teachers and the parents exactly why Oatie wasn't going, because of their (the parents) prejudice behaviour.

--------so our conversation moved on to....
I was just saying that I really enjoy the 2 hours that I have while Oatie is at preschool...... and with him having Cerebral palsy.... it's the only break I/we get. I wasn't moaning, I was merely trying to EDUCATE!

Which our debate went on to aides as Oatie's fabulous aide went back to his home town, and he has his stand in aide is also very nice and I just happened to mention why people find being an aide stressful. I was saying that the best aides that I have seen are those who don't have young children while aiding another young child....or their children are older or don't have any children. The ones I have noticed who find it stressful have kids similar age to that they are aiding. Where by the person I was debating with disagreed saying that being an aide is a stressful job.

The person I was having this discussion with, was saying that it's totally different having a disabled person who is your child as you love them unconditionally...but an aide doesn't have that emotional link with them.

I'm sorry but I just don't agree,.... Yes I love Oatie unconditionally... and yes I have a great bond with him. But having a disabled person to care for isnt really a choice, like all the fellow bloggers I've met... you just get on with what you're dealt... (I'm not entering the selective abortion arena), I'm just saying that I didn't go hey let's have a kid with CP today! or who wishes that something unfortunate happens to their kids to enter the world of disability... like no one....

What about if the parent didn't bond with their kid with special needs from Post natal depression for example... how would that be not stressful to care for the kid but being an aide is? And... Even with a strong bond... The never having a day off... Knowing the difference with able and lesser able kids even with your own. And the general on your own feeling that comes part of the baggage of special needs What special needs actually means (you're on your FUBAR own...OK! And we'll rub your face in it!!! Got it!)

I'm not wanting to dis any aides out there, I think anyone who is an aide is a special kind of person, I'm just debating the debate.

You see, that to me to be an aide..... an aide, is PAID, and an aide gets to choose if they want to work with the individual or not. The aide has the person for a limited amount of hours, an aide can walk away, and aide can go home at night and shut the door. I really don't see how that is stressful at all. To be an aide is a CHOICE!

So my point is, although you love your special one unconditionally, having to care for someone who is long term dependent on you 24-7 is way more stressful than being an aide. No actual break apart from an hour here or there. Maybe I should have banged on about seat belts on school busses with this person!

One week left of the holidays....

I have to say that I have really enjoyed the Summer holidays on the whole.  The kids had a great time at Skate Camp, we got two of them swimming and I have been making a figure skating dress for my daughter who is skating to a piece from the Nutcracker.


I love the holidays, the older two have like an ironman training during Skate camp, it starts up on the last week of school... they are on the ice for 3.5 hours a day, Monday to Friday, Run and bike outside, Swim, yoga, skate, dance for 3.5 weeks, they do group dances with the whole club from Senior skaters down to the junior skaters, the older ones team up with the little ones and the kids totally love it, with their friends who range from my daughters Age of 6 to 16.  After that, for the next 5 weeks, they just chil.


Oatie has got out on his bike a lot more and this tricycle is very basic, my eldest had it when he was 1.  The pedals are really hard to push, and Oatie actually managed two pushes.  I hope this April when the CP bike clinic is open that the cost of a special bike for him isn't out of our reach as I think this year he might be ready for a real bike.


The holidays are a time when the kids can rest emotionally, I think, there is no bullying or stress or illness, no one has been ill once.  Next week two of mine are starting a new school together.  Oatie is returning to where he started last year, but his amazing fantastic aide moved back East so I hope we don't have what we had last year.


Tomorrow we're surprising the kids with a trip to a mini theme park to enjoy most of the rides you have to be 36inches in height and phew Oatie cleared that, we're not telling them till we get there.


I decided to take the week off ABR, as next week is going to be crazy so I thought might as well have one more week of just enjoying the kids as I know it's cliché, but they are growing up so fast.

Oatie and the Honey Farm.... where Pooh Bear lives....

On Friday, Oatie had a field trip, and my daughter did the Honey Farm two years back as she was in the same preschool where Oatie goes now. Two years ago, Oatie Screamed and HATED honey, he wouldn't even try to taste any, he cried and really didn't enjoy it.

Well this time, he tried all 6 different honey types, he had a go using the Smoker, he got to turn the honey centrifuge thing and he was so into seeing the Bee's looking for the Queen bee and and just loved every minute of it.

When we left, he said, "Mama, Pooh Bear lives here"

We had a quiet weekend, we bought my daughter a bunk bed, Oatie is thrilled as now he can camp in either room, he kind of breaks in and lies on their lower bunks and says "nite nite" lol!

Just 2-3 weeks left of School and wow this year has flown.

A trip to the Farm... well Garden Centre... Farm... ohhh Lingo lol!

Today Oatie went on a field trip literally, well it was to a local Farm and in the UK you'd class it more as a Garden Centre with coffee shop... needless to say, it's one of my favourite places to visit locally... the food is gorgeous and I think most of the food items are grown or raised on their land.

Well it was really nice to spend some one on one with Oatie, in a fun non therapy way. Becaues of the large loose rocks it's not the best to take a stroller but I did show the other mum with a 10month old... the special technique for the rocks... (having had 3 years of experience of it lol!) I remember the first time navagating the rocks with Oatie when he was 1 thinking, phew... "Glad he'll be walking soon! lol!" little did I know.

I'm not sure if I mentioned... but my daughter is doing a K project where she presents something new to the class each each, she's like kid of the week and each week it's someone elses turn. They present right from their very first photo EVER to today.... I was looking at the photos of Oatie as a Baby and scrutinising them..., and even when my daughter was snuggling with him in her arms with me on the couch... he looked "Normal" he was even a chub-ster like my eldest... Apart from the non walking (when my super figure skating 6 year old daughter didn't walk till she was almost 3) there was no actual cue... The speech of Oatie at a comparable age to my eldest was no worst (in fact some words were better) than my now Public Speaking Savvy almost 8 year old.... Like I knew when we had to insist to our GP that he needed to see someone (Our GP was still like.. no he's fine.. just lazy....)...

Well getting on to our Fabulous day... Oatie had the most impeccable manners, he was a thorough Gent... he is a true sweetheart and well I felt like a very lucky lady having those yummy hands of his in mine for 2 hours while I did my "John Wayne" swaggering walk (I straddle Oatie legs and hold both his hands) forwards and walking backwards around the Farm. We walked and looked around the plants, the plantlings, the flowers, the pig. (yep one) and the excotic chicks... the Roosters... and then we stopped off in the Cafe for some homemade baked goods....

Had another milestone moment, all the kids wanted to sit on a plastic horse... and Oatie insisted and insisted... I put him on there ready to catch him as was another mum... just in case and even though he didn't like it too much when he was on there, he actually could SIT on it... unaided!!!

We had a brilliant time and it was a glorious day... I got a tan for sure... and it was so nice I even managed to extract Oatie's Coat off him...

OK OK... and it was nice to Dry off after being in the rain for 3 days in Montreal... cold damp rain... (reminded me of England lol!) well nice and dry in Sunny AB...

Oh and Phil, I left AB it was almost wintery, and 4 day later we've gone past buds to full leaflets!!!!

Easter Bunny, Parites and Chicken Pox...and.... and.... double test day! YES DOUBLE!

We've gone a bit A.W.O.L recently... I've been having a blog vacation like my dear friend Phil lol!

Well the kids are tucked up in bed. and I'm about to mix a scratch cake (home-made cake) depending on which side of the Ocean lingo you like... for my daughters 2/3 birthday cakes.

She is having her Birthday over 3 weeks, it sounds quite regal really.... Well with the upcoming UK Royal Wedding lol... She not intentionally but has 3 names, all of which were once English Queens lol!

She had one cake on her actual birthday, she was competing... and next Saturday she is having her party 2 weeks later... and she today chose a flat Castle cake,... and couldn't decide between a dolly pick cake and that.. so depending on time, she might get both lol!

Our Skating Season is officially at an end, or it will be after our round up party.  My eldest brought a lot of metal home.  And my daughter... well she's at the lower end of the level my eldest competes at... and although she didn't place but twice.  She actually, learnt not to really care if she got a medal or not, to be a good and nice competitor and she learnt to win and lose with grace.  She made a point of high-fiving all the girls who did get a medal (my son does the same).  And she's finally realised that these other girls who do get medals are all my eldest's age.... and that she only came last once.  She beat 7&8 year olds... she actually got 4th lots... which was brilliant!

And.... we had double test day.... My eldest tested the next dance... it wasn't his best skate of the dance,... but he PASSED!!!  My daughter, PASSED her Dutch Waltz... which we found out from another mum/mom that the dance partner used to a few years back insist that they were 8 years old... so that was another honour for her...and she passed it.  I did feel rather sorry for him, having a 6ft+ guy, having to skate in a almost 90 degree squat...with a 6year old and 5 days she told me!!!

I have been running and swimming and actually lost some pounds... would you believe... ! lol! my throat lump thing is still annoying me... but by not shouting and changing how I speak or how I swim, it's much more manageable... the worst bit was not being able to cheer the kids on at their comps... in the end I asked some other parents who didn't know me at all, if they wouldn't mind cheering on the girl with so much sparkles on you're dazzled!

Oatie had has his chicken pox vaccine... it knocked him for six, so we were a bit late in doing his assessment video... but him hacking up his guts, wouldn't have been a good video...  We go in a few weeks time for our next ABR visit.... his illness has really knocked our hours quite badly....

My daughter went to an "educational 6th birthday party today" I don't object to museums, but this was at the little girls house.... and we did manage to persuade the mum to put the Mensa brain quest cards on the side...

Well I had better get mixing that cake... and hopefully if the Easter Bunny comes and after the hunt, if he does... I might get some bench in watching some Pooh Bear Eastery films which are Oatie's favourites...

And.... just in case you're wondering... there are Still no buds on our trees, not a single one, and we still have a garden full of snow!!!

The older kids did a beautiful Easter Bunny Murals in Chalk on our drive...  Huge WELCOME... they wrote the bunny a song this evening and sang at full volume and in different languages so he could hopefully understand one of them.

Sweet Dreams, and hope the Easter Bunny leaves you an Egg hunt...

Snowy Monday!

Well, if you don't believe me, it's been snowing lots at the weekend, apparently people have seen Geese re-migrate south again! lol!

Oatie still looking wiped from flu and then his vaccine

Our trees have no signs of buds and well it's all rather odd really! I think Spring has been cancelled.

The disabled ramp had 8inches of snow, so Tina Turner biceps for me today lol!

Well since I've given up coaxing the kids in the car, we've been late, as my voice can't take it, but today, the kids actually self motivated themselves to get in the car, so we were on time, my eldest is always on time, but it's my daughter who's the one who's late. Oatie doesn't start till 8.45. My eldest is meant to be at school at 8.35am, and 12km away, my daughter is meant to be at school at 8.25 and Oatie 8.45 same place as my daughter. So I drop my eldest off first, his principle gave him permission to be early early, and the I drop the other two off after.

My ice princess on her Birthday during warm up doing an arabesque- spiral

My little girl turned 6 on Friday, and had her birthday wish, to be an ice princess. When she fell asleep, she woke in the hotel room to a huge banner and lots of balloons and her presents. I smuggled a homemade dairy free chocolate cake with icing that she didn't know about, it was a cat head of her cat. She so didn't care where she places, she bounced and high fived all the girls who got medals... I bought her a new sparkle comb for her hair to skate in and and then we went for a shop, and she got some girly things and had a nice meal in a restaurant and then they served the chocolate cake. She was so happy, she fell asleep with a huge grin on her face.

Her hair, it twinkled as she skated! lol!

Oatie meanwhile has got a renewed appreciation for rinks, he claps for ALL the skaters and cheers them all on and likes watching it, and is very sweet and now likes taking photos too.

My eldest came away with a medal for each of the events he skated in. He's near the top of his level and My daughter is just starting out. She placed well she got 4th and 5th out of 8 and the other girls were 2-2.5 years older than her so she was really pleased she did as well as she did.

Oatie Babysitting her cuddly toy... he's wiped from cheering

Today we got in 3.5 if not 4 hours of ABR. Oatie had a great day at school and my older two had their last practice before DOUBLE TEST DAY - yikes!

The last test day, I was fairly sure that my eldest would pass and he did. This test day, I don't know, if they do they do and if they don't they don't. I just said as long as you did your best and try your hardest and you fail then I don't care. If you don't practice/try and then fail then I would. All you can do is do your best, and you have two options to try and risk failure, or not try at all. The second isn't really an option in my book, to me that's not living.

So my son is testing the second dance surprising his coach with one of the new tops I made, he's looking forward to that. My daughter is wearing her new princess dress. The dance partner joked with her saying now your 6, I won't have to bend down as far. The poor guy is skating a dance in a squat with her!

The day after is the last competition of the season for us. Huge flights (groups to skate against), for my daughter, and for my son it will only be 2, he likes it when there is lots of guys to skate against, more of a challenge and more exciting. The next level up of boys will be exciting to watch, they competeded against my eldest when he first started out, and then they moved up... and the same group will be skating against each other and we haven't seen those four boys go head to head for 1.5 years... so that should be fun. My daughter will be skating against 7-8 year olds and lots of them... as the almost nine year old from our club is in the next group.

Well I had better go and fix dinner, it's home-made pizza today and the kids are decorating mini princess chocolate cakes with the dolly picks in.

Oatie - In limbo, a disabled fraud or where?

On Friday we did manage 2:39, of Manual ABR and has his Machine every night but two, since we got  his ABR Machine.

Well while I went swimming and had the "mean swimmer" swimming in the next lane as my muse... (joking about him being my muse, just relieved not to swim with him),... I was wondering about the "F" word, (Future), for Oatie.  Sunday night we did his flashcards with him, and he will always orientate them correctly and he got all correct apart from his newest word that he hadn't seen for 2 weeks, he is so obviously very very bright... and even though it's  2.5 years till he starts Grade 1, that's only 30months...   Why was my head swimming when I was swimming.... well apart from the best place for me to think;

• My eldest school is also having a re-vamp and well there was no mention of adding any disabled facilities to the school, it's not even an old building and had a huge overhaul 8 years ago and even then when they added an upstairs library still no disabled method of conquering the stairs.  We would like Oatie to go there when it's time... but that is a battle to come, for another day...

• The the other recent experience of the whole speech thing at his school, "oh sorry our budget is exhausted..." and I was like with whom?  Oatie is your most severe disabled child, and you've spent NOTHING on him... so who took the WHOLE budget?"  "Sorry our OT is pregnant.... so nothing this year..."

• Parking in a disabled bay WITH our badge WITH Oatie in the car, the scathing looks of the elderly like WHO is disabled in your car....!  (Yep they can push their cart and walk unaided to their car, not saying they don't' deserve their badge, but... what makes them think that they have any right to judge whether Oatie qualifies for his badge)

Well, who needs Google, from swimming regularly, and at the same time as the adult swim-club (I don't swim with them...) but I know quire a few people who do.  I am finding out a wealth of info on disabled services and the best way of accessing them.  Only, there was a disabled swimming group, which isn't open to the public it's organised via a Dr's referral... granted it was for adults... but only because I swam much later today did I ever see or hear of this group.

Everyone says he will walk, and for him, I really hope he does, it would open up the world to him, but if he doesn't walk, he doesn't walk, people can lead a super life without walking too.  But at the same time, no one thought he was "disabled"/ had CP.

So I kind of feel that Oatie/we are in limbo, it's taken a huge effort to keep our disabled and our able bodied worlds both open, and sometimes I'm thinking.... why did I fight for this, to be in both?  (But it is for our family good to be in both, it just is painful from time to time, but that's ok).  It's good for my elder two to have a 'normal life' and embrace their brother's and it's so so so good for the "normal" people to have a reality check with seeing a disabled person in their face, and for their kids, to see that it is perfectly normal for disabled and able kids to mix, and in my opinion, how it should be.  Another blog I follow of a girl called  Ashley, her mum has been campaigning to get Ashley into a mainstream school.


I can now TOTALLY see why we don't see many families with a young disabled member, being in the able world, as it's fairly painful actually...  being in a fairly small town, if you're a sporty family, you tend to see the same people/families around town all the time.

From the able world, you get the uncouth remarks, then they go oops... or they arrange an able bodied activity/social for the kids and ohhh sorry I forgot... or a play-date with the kids the same age... but not Oatie... and they turn and say, "Well he can't do X..." and like I had at the volunteer commitment / no one wanting to babysit.

Where as in the "physically less able world", although we all have our different plights and each of our children all have unique "conditions", we all stand together and that's so nice.

Recently one of the blogs I follow,  of a gorgeous young man called Adam, Sharon put a post about WHY, why don't people look closer to home...

The blanket definition of CP, each child who has CP, it affect them all in a different way.  From love that Max


Oatie is 'lucky' as I don't know if that the right word, but he has the "normal" life just out of his fingertips... always..., he's blipping between the two worlds, his speech, walking improved day by day, but will it be 'enough' in 30 months time?, I wonder where his life will lie, in which sphere able or less abled?  Some day's I wonder if we're a fraud in the disabled world as there are so many kids/adults who have much bigger challenges to climb than Oatie... and then, we don't fit in the "able" world either.  I have to say I feel more at home here in the the "physically less able"  that's why I sometimes feel that we're in limbo,... and more so as we're out of the "medical system" as we do ABR which is out of the medical system.

We didn't do any ABR over the weekend as he really wasn't very well, a parting souvenir from preschool before spring break.  But today he didn't want to eat his lunch, he said, "Mama I'm tired" something he's only said to his dad before and then I said well "eat your lunch and you can have a Nap then?",  he said... "NON!! in his French accent and said " I want BED", so I sat him down for lunch, and he drank his drink and said, "Tired... Tired.... Tired.... Tired... Mama... Tired..." etc so he took himself off to his bed for the whole afternoon, and didn't want to get out of it, he reluctantly came down for dinner and we said he could play for a bit as he'd been in bed, and said, nope! I Tired, I want Buzz Bench (ABR Machine), I sleep!

So as my bench companion (Oatie) went to bed...., I made two pairs of figure skating pants this afternoon for my eldest,  I was hemming them as he went out the door...they compete in the weekend after next for three weekends in a row....

Hoping to get some ABR in tomorrow,

Love Oatie's Mum
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

T-shirts, tumble turns, magic, walk, tan, ABR, 3-turns and meringue

Well today was what would be a Typical Winter/Spring day in Sunny Alberta. A beautiful Chinook arch in the sky, blue skies, sunshine, 3oC and you want to be in a T-shirt, I'm sure I got a tan. (I'll explain the tan in a bit).

Oatie holding my hand walking look at his feet, look at our hands  WOW!

If you ever fancy some free "sport" (meaning a laugh), just invite me along and make sure you get a front row seat. No I'm not joking, I have posted how I end up going against the grain of life, and I've posted how it really used to bother me, and used to wonder WHY? but now I have a few grey hairs, I just shrug my shoulders and well you just have to LAUGH and not fight it! It's so much funnier when you just laugh...

A Friend who doesn't have any brain injured children all the same ages as ours and does have her household like the "Waltons", says how I "look" for these thing. But I seriously don't, it just happens, look at last week with my "so annoyed post". I dotted all the 'i''s and crossed all the 't's and still. BOOM BOOM POW! I was proactive in ensuring it would go without a hitch and it should have... but nope of all the 50+ families... it happened to me!


After dropping my 3 gorgeous kids off at their schools I went for a Swim. I was in a lane with a lady whom we've swum with a once or twice but never really chatted. Well even though I swim as fast as a snail, she was complimenting my swimming and told me how she couldn't Breathe for front crawl... well being a person who didn't get proper stroke technique till they were 12 and became a swimming instructor... I gave her a few tips. And then out of the blue, she started to Tumble turn. She stopped and said how she felt like she wanted to pay me, as she was in Swim Club as a kid, she couldn't compete as she couldn't "Breathe" and well she gave up swimming as a result, and now is obese... So I jestingly said, she could egg me on to do a Tumble Turn as "payment", as I haven't done one for 18 years... (since I injured my back when I was a teen), and have been reluctant to do so since, so I did 4 tumble turns today, they weren't pretty, but I sooo enjoyed them, we had an absolute SCREAM together it was hilarious...

My Oatie, was full of surprises... and know how I was took him shopping, well I was still thinking about how nice it was... and why was it nice this time, what was different? I don't see it but my friends do, Oatie is very subtly improving. That's why, his back's not in pain how it used to be, today he stood up and put on his OWN hat. as it was a T'shirt day we walked back to the car. Yes I'd say it was a walk. Usually we'd do the WADDLE... but today he held one hand, my hand was by my side rather than high up taking his weight. It took 20 minutes to go the 200 metres but we Walked, it was pleasurable, it was a slow stroll, he chattered, it was the first "normal" experience of physical activity we've ever done, it was just like MAGIC, so magical that it was one of those moments like on a Startrek film, where time was frozen and I'll remember the moment FOREVER. Well that's how I got my Tan!

We did 2:25 of ABR,.... Thank you ABR so much!

The 3-turns, well I'm still short of one of my inside ones, (skating speak), buy my figure skating kids did beautiful 3 turns, they had a great skate today.

The Meringue, well we had some egg whites from making the peppermint creams at Scouts last week, so I made some English meringue's actually a strawberry pavlova, I can't eat the cream but we bought some and whisked it up and voilà! Which my lovely hubby took round to my two fellow Scouter's homes. I won't be at camp next weekend due to the 32 hours. They are always so nice, and so supportive of Oatie, me and my family, never complain if I can't be there or go to camp, and it's an honour to Scout (Scout Association) with them.

Not a great photo but you get the idea, two layers of meringue, sandwiched with whipped cream, whipped cream on top decorated with Strawberries,  We use dairy free ice cream instead...

The Wrong Trousers - I hope I'm not Wallace, I have do have a Gromit & Shaun!

 Oatie at Preschool using Scissors...  I was very impressed, and taken back, I didn't realise he could use scissors like that!

Oatie using Scissors today...

The Wrong Trousers?

I love GROMIT xxx

Wallace And Gromit Graphics &; Wallace And Gromit Pictures";

I hope I am NOT Wallace, but I had/have to be creative with Oatie's Trousers/Pants... as "normal" ones don't last at all.

Today Oatie's trouser prototype "1" bit the dust. It served well it lasted 9 months well I did make a few pairs so that's not bad going.

Trackpants, I cut and resewn to be CP Friendly for Oatie

Until now, I got his existing pants and rehashed them. Like I'd cut the seams off, and pretty much remake them adding the hard wearing material in the front. I learned that it was best to bind the edge of the patches before sewing them to the hard wearing fabric. This time, I've decided to make them up from scratch. It's more work than making them up from scratch. I'm not doing ribbed cuffs as I'd like to have a hem for growing room. In principle I like them, my daughter chose the blue fabric, I might buy some black fabric to mix it up.

So "normal pants/trousers" are wrong for Oatie for a brand-new pair of jogging bottoms/tracksuit trousers, Oatie can wear the knees through in 3 days. I could also use a pair of those trousers featured in Wallace and Gromit, it would be perfect for getting Oatie around.  

I'll be making him some new ones very soon, which reminds me to prewash the fabric, so I had better go and put a wash on.

If you click on the photo you can see the black patches on the knee- thigh, the ankle cuffed ones ride up like that.

Today we did 2.5 hours of Manual ABR

Pizza car at the gas bar

Today was -34oC and with the wind chill it felt like -40oC.  If you weren't wearing gloves after about 20 seconds you hands were burning....  OUCH!  I don't normally mind our winters but this one is very "special" and I am sure I will treasure it in my heart... NOT!

Today we got 2:30 of manual ABR, which is more than usual on a Tuesday.  I didn't swim and Oatie didn't make school either.  But I did go to the Flag Ceremony.  It was really sweet, and for me looking into the Francophone community, it was nice that they wanted to be fully integrated into Alberta.  I do love O Canada in French, it sounds lovely!

My older two had dance, and my "Michael Jacksons" Thriller jacket arrived for recital, he was so excited... fortunately his figure skating pants are now above his ankle bones so they should be perfect for the pants to go with the Thriller Jackets maybe a minor mod to them.  My daughter is one of his dancers... in sparkling fuschia pink two piece they look gorgeous.


Today Oatie, found a lego ladder from on of the lego dumpster trucks, added a block to make it a "bridge" and then got Pizza Car and took him on the bridge which was Pizza car at the Gas Bar.  We do love his games, he's so inventive and it's super cute.  

 

I've contacted the Mayor

Today was a special Flag Ceremony at my daughters and Oatie's School... and guess who sat next to me,... none only other than the Town Mayor (we're not officially in the town) but we're in the sprawl in the countryside so we're like honorary town members.

So whilst I was emailing him his photos, I asked if he could do something to improve disabled peoples access/rights in and around the town.  He really is a nice guy, probably the nicest politician I've met, so we shall see.  What I like about him is that he really does seem to care about what his role is and I have no idea how good his French is, but he was really making a huge effort and it was nice.

I even sent him a photo of Oatie Buggy skating from Sunday so I'm hoping that his cute smile might win him over.

Oatie and I'll be back later.

Bonjour! French Play....

Today was a "normal" day whatever that is....lol! no drama or Speedo's so it was a good day overall.

It's "half term"/Spring Break this week so our adult skate isn't on till next week. So I went for a Swim to loosen up my poor back, which was nice, my running buddy wasn't up for running either today so she walked and met me at the pool for a coffee which was fabulous. Picked Oatie from School, had lunch, did some ABR , we collected my daughter, and went to my eldests school to see their French Play. My eldest has a DVD in French that they are to watch at home 3 times a week, and then after many months later his class put on the play part of the DVD. The thing is that Oatie and my daughter who both go to French School do the DVD too.

So it was really nice, my eldest spoke loudly and clearly and in sync with his friend in their speaking part. My daughter sang the song sat on my lap with my son's class and Oatie shouted out the "Perdu" bits, which was adorable.

After school we dove to the second hand sport shop to get some........ to get some...... to get some...... "Hockey Skates" for my figure skating kids! Well it was for a multitude of reasons, mainly they don't like going to the family skate as previously we all weren't allowed on the ice at the same time, then because they just have to go round and round and "no tricks" which is fair enough... and they have to wear a helmet (also fair enough) and not skate fast (also fair enough). So I thought to make it more "interesting" they could skate a family skate in hockey skates, they get a challenge, and enjoy having the helmet and some padding lol!.. I can keep up with them and apparently if you're a figure skater, wearing hockey skates really improves your V-push technique? I have no idea by a friend of mine who's a coach recommended that. If my eldest is like he was on figure skates, he'll be up and off straight away... or he'll be on his bottom lots...We haven't told Oatie yet our plan for Sunday as I know he wouldn't sleep, he'd be so excited about Buggy Skating.

I couldn't do that, Crystal would nip me, she's so gentle with Oatie

Out of Sync... no not an Iphone! ME!

Well, since the Grandparents flew home on Wednesday, my routine has been a bit hap hazzard, like catching up on the regular chores that you shoved aside so you can spend some time and well for me waiting till the weekend so I can take a breath....

Have you ever had one of those days when... you feel like you are out of sync with the cosmic forces around you, like you're out of time (not game over necessarily) but out of time in syncronised terms. A few near misses with death...One of those days when you get in your bed at night and glad that you've "made it". It isn't a "bad mood day" as I don't often have a bad mood day, (as it's generally a waste of energy, emotion and well, I like to be up beat). It's a day when your mood is happy/neutral and you're just "out of sync!" It's a bit "deja vu ish..." too.

Well I had one of those days, and well a decade ago I would have fought it (by trying to ignore all the out of sync things, and try and get back on time), but a bit of experience has taught me not to fight it and well be thankful that I'm in one piece, and just take a deep breath and in your stride is the best way to end up unscathed... (it's the type of day you know that you should have stayed in bed). I found that if you fight it, the consequences are worse... so it's better to accept that today is one of "those" days and to be more vigilant that you are out of sync and then I've found nothing too drastic happens, like you have the near misses but not the "hits".

So it started off as a fairly typical day it was the day after my parents went home. My husband took my elder son and daughter for their ski lesson (the had teacher training days) and I took my Oatie to preschool. Well with no other siblings to fight with, and not trying to get 3 kids in the car only one... and having peace and quiet in the house you'd expect that to go fine... well after two changes, about to put him in the car, when I was like, OK, so I had to unalarm the house, boots off... so anyway we were laughably 30 minutes late for school, the door wouldn't open and then there was a tractor doing a manoeuvre on the highway (you know stuff that doesn't' usually happen), two cars having very aggressive road rage at each other, followed by a 6 police car speed trap.... hauling people off the road and then at school no spaces in the car park even though we were late, the path slicker than a rink... At school Oatie got accidentally hit in the eye with a toy plane within 20 seconds of being there... and then I went for a swim, got kicked, broke nails on the rope, slipped poolside... jammed locker so took 20 minutes to free my clothes... it was -20 with 85% humidity, no hat or mitts as my husband had my car... so I had to almost burn my hair (well I borrowed Oaties bobble hat) the cream one photo previously on the blog. Picked up Oatie, we went fabric shopping in town, got police radar-ed another two times, got cut up 3 times by a truck and a car having road rage, 5miles later one car 5 in front did a huge emergency stop for no reason and almost caused a huge pile up... followed by another radar.... got to the strip mall and the car park was blocked by a truck who couldn't manoeuvre as there were 3 illegally parked cars, bought the wrong colour gold fabric, ended up in the splits in the carpark, drove to the other shop which has the notions, another police radar, someone parked across both handicapped spaces so we had a huge walk, skidded on the ice with Oatie... (I bought him some denim, and track pant material and some pyjama material to make him some more CP friendly clothes he chose it and was a super shopper) got in the car, saw a huge multi car pile up been cleared up, eventually made it home with some nice more road antics... a few cat sick, and kid spillages later, we settled down for our ABR (unfortunately we didn't get in the amount we'd usually get in on a Thursday), my husband kindly too the older two skating, and I made popped a dinner that cooks no hassle in our lovely oven while we did our ABR. I might take a photo of one of my best friends (my oven) for you to see, well after dinner it was scouts and well it was the first time it was 5 of us for almost a week were together, so we were just all catching up when I realise I was late for scouts, I was like oh no! but thought better late than never, so I got in my car got radar-ed again, and well I did apologise for being late and mentioned to a younger scouter about days when you just don't feel in sync with the time around you, and well he said at times he has days like that too once in a while. We had our leaders meeting after and after being radar-ed one last time, I was very relieved when I finally pulled into our garage... PHEW! only to slip on the kitchen floor! YIKES!

Luckily those days don't happen very often to me, when some of the near misses are unfolding and you get the deja vu, but then a pit in the stomach feeling that things could have easily gone the other way(like bad) have you ever had that?

Well no speeding tickets for me! Ta Dah!!!!

The other thing I just don't get... is Road Rage, it was all the Rage in the mid 90's to the mid 00's in the UK. Like seriously, it was so bad, I've seen people smash other peoples windscreens in at the Gas Bar as they didn't pull away, in the person doing the punchings' timely manner, punch ups in the Supermarket. In the new it was worse, baseball batting's, been followed and when people pull up they get beaten till they don't move... shootings over road rage. Well it got so out of control, but it was everywhere people up each others Fenders/Bumpers and everywhere was just so ANGRY on the roads it was insane. You'd see people been forced to stay on the highway as no one would let this person who was indicating come off the highway as the cars/trucks would form a "Wall". Well the increase in fuel seemed to calm it down as to "Rage" would cost more, but the graphic images on TV actually helped to calm it right down. I don't know why, but here, they seem to be in the infancy of their road rage... why don't they understand that their anger behind the wheel is likely to cause someone's death? Why do people get so NASTY when they are behind the wheel? You should never drive "Angry" and if someone wants to turn right, by blocking them off isn't going to make them to want to go left, so why not let them turn right and give them some space so they can be safe? You get to go where you want to go and they them.... both arrive at your destination in tact? The roads are so SLOW here, what difference does going a few KM faster do anyway 15 seconds? 30 seconds earlier at your destination? what's the point? I wish the Government here would educate people, they shouldn't need to to me it's common sense,...but I think that they should. No one here leave any form of breaking distance. They drive on open empty highways like they are in rush hour Central London (England).

Oh and Oatie has been spontaneously walking short distances more... like when he comes out of class he like to walk to one of the dads whom he loves (they are a good family friend of ours) and he walks to give him a hug.

Tuesday hooray

Oatie has had another fantastic day.  Well for starters he managed to persuade his Granddad and Nana to accompany him on the school run.  Oatie and his Granddad have really bonded this visit, and Oatie won't leave the house without him, if he needs carrying, it's Granddad no one else will do.

My bulging biceps are turning to blubber (not that I mind and I am joking... you know when body-builders don't keep up the training it turns to fat).  

As I wasn't doing the "carrying" and just holding my daughters cute little hand in mine, walking along swinging our arms, I had a small taster of how our life used to be, totally carefree (and how other parents have it when all three are able to walk) and I think my biggest worry was what was I going to cook for dinner... and if X had nappy(diaper) rash...  Well  there is never a dull moment now!

This time last year, Oatie couldn't weight bear that well, he couldn't really sit up...he'd cruise the furniture but it was laboured, and I have written about that "soldier" who helped Oatie and I on our first time to Montreal, settle Oatie (he is very attached to his dad) by giving him his very first lollipop, to carrying our bags of the aircraft, our stroller wasn't there so he helped us to the baggage carousel, and got our bags off and found our stroller and walked us to the taxi rank.

Oatie couldn't stand really, he wouldn't hold on, and you couldn't put him down anywhere or even sit him down as he was so unstable he'd just flop over like jello/Jelly.  I keep on putting N. American words and UK equivalents... lol!  He couldn't sit on a chair without flopping around and in the cabs where he had to sit on my lap, he'd scream as it hurt him and he felt unsafe... so I crossed my arms over his chest to make him feel secure.  Getting out the cabs, I'd almost cry as most of the drivers were impatient to go, and not help the with the stroller and just dump and drive off (with snow on the ground) and you need two hands to put the stroller up!  In the end I found one nice taxi driver and he became the only taxi I'd use and gave him our airport run too.

It's coming up to our 1 year anniversary of ABR, well not quite, but he's come so far in one year.  This morning was another, he now has muscle control of his bladder (he won't use it yet...) but he was bone dry and then very soggy, so we were late to school, so it was quite funny for me, with my other two I'd be like ohhhh no we're going to be late!!! but with Oatie I was like WOW!  

Today he hiccuped for the very first time... that either my husband or I could ever recall, in fact I don't think he's ever hiccuped before, my husband took a year off before/after Oatie, and he didn't remember him hiccuping either.  We both had high flying jobs and time was whizzing past and we wanted to spend more time as a family as our older two were at nursery from 8am-6pm Monday to Friday and the balance felt all wrong.  (Just so you know that they took BABIES from 6 weeks old!not mine, My older two were 6 and 8 months and I went back very part time to start with but got sucked back in to workd, as you'd get full time hours but part time pay, so you ended up going full time so at least you were paid for it, but that's what it's like in the UK the pressure to return to work is huge, if you don't want your job, 20 other people are standing waiting!).  One of life's annoyances, but maybe he couldn't hiccup before?  My other two did and I recall fondly whilst pregnant, the insomnia  of the hours of hiccups from my son and daughter!  All the little things that we take for granted or hate, that is just amazing or new for Oatie.  Inbetween the hiccups he was "What's that?" meaning what is a hiccup!  (We have been working on the chest cavity.)

Get ready for another roar of laughter, well I vowed that I'd never be a stay a home mum before we had kids (cue laughter), well I am, and the ABR hours I do with Oatie are like having a part time job...lol!  From doing the whole part time, full time, stay at home cycle several times around now.  I'd say if you like and are able, part time work is nice, you get a break, they get a break... but I have respect now for stay at home parents too and of the belief that whatever works for your family, is the best thing.  For Oatie, this is the best thing for him at the moment.  I am so pleased that preschool is working out for him as it's just so nice the two hours he can just be him, and play and have fun and make friends.  I also enjoy the two hours to break a sweat.


So today was our last full day with the "Grandparents" visiting.  Tomorrow there are going to be some huge tears from Oatie as Granddad will be going home.  If you hear of avalanches it will be Oatie's "yodel" that will be the cause for sure!


Well my friend the washing machine is calling but before I go...

I had a classic moment this morning, as I traded my usual exercise for spending time with my parents... I thought I'd wash my hair this morning before the school run, I had time to wash, virtually dry and still beat the kids in the car.... or so I though!  We live in the country and have a well.  I had just put a stack of conditioner on my hair (I grow my hair and donate it) so I try and keep the condition good. and the water cut out (the filter was blocked with soil), it was a trickle... so  there was all this foam and no water I was like ARGHGGGHGHGHG, so in the end I got my water bottle (It has to be a bottle or my cat will drink from my glass by my bedside...yuck!! she wears a collar so I can hear the chinking she like a cup of tea too!) and tipped it over my head, dried it best I could in 5 minutes still with conditioner in it and put my wolly hat on and was out the door.  Thankfully there are no photos of me on the blog as the whole screen would be taken up by HUGE hair like in Bridget Jones 2!


I hope everyone has sweet dreams, xxx


Tuesday's are our short sessions but we still got just under 2 hours of Manual and Oatie's zzzzing with his buzz bench on.
 

Love is in the air....

Today my three beautiful kiddies were excited about St.Valentines day, luckily for me they are too young to have "romantic" notions... but what is nice is that they are celebrating the love of friendship. Today no one got bullied and everyone had a super day. My Oatie's class made lots of crafts and sang songs... my daughters class had a party picnic and all had to wear Red/White or Pink, and I supplied some Valentines coloured food (Home made Pizza). My eldest had more of a celebration with their class. My elder two had skating today and my eldest wore his Red top.... and they gave home-made cards to their coaches, which they did a watercolour heart on.

The test that my son had just passed, well he was allowed to pair with my daughter, and it was just so gorgeous to see them skate together and nice for the grandparents to see them "ice dancing" together, they can't officially skate together till they are a higher standard but for fun today, the coaches let them. My little boy, holding my little girls hands in dance hold. He was so gentle with her making sure he didn't trip her up, arm around her back supporting her, it was a handkerchief moment.

My mum and dad are staying with us till Wednesday so it's my dad's birthday next month, and we won't be together so I told you guys, but I secretly made a cake, which I froze and iced the flowers. I was iced smooth white, and was going to be a "serious cake" but my gorgeous daughter wanted it rainbow colour for her Granddad and it sounded so much more fun, so we painted the coloured stripes on the heart shaped cake.

We got 3.04 manual ABR yesterday and 3.08 hours manual today.

3:25 Manual ABR

Today we did 3:25 hours of manual ABR. I haven't told Oatie that he can family skate, as I thought till we were in the car on our way before telling him. I'm hopeful that we might make this Sunday... we'll see.

Oatie walked around his class room today from the Table to the play kitchen and when his Daddy came to collect him he walked with his lunch kit about 2 Metres into his arms.. and later at home he walked 4metres... he's funny, he'll go through a day of doing that and then, he won't walk for weeks. He stood up in open space each time...

Tonight is my casino shift...

Here is Oatie at school walking to his dad.

Added a Slideshow!

Today, was a mixture of a day, how I expected the day to be wasn't how it ended up at all.  Well, I've added a "slideshow" of the photos of the Blog under Oatie's main photo in the right hand column.

Well, we had all three kids at school today for the first time in ages.  Oatie was delighted to be back at school, and they had a new wooden kitchen playset in Oatie's room and he thought it was fantastic!  I forgot to say goodbye to him, and I had left the building, so I went in, took my shoes off again and said bye, and he didn't really even glance, he was more like "you back already!" in a sweet smile.. so off I went.

Wednesdays are usually my favourite day of the week at the moment.  Although my all time favourite day is Thursday's, I LOVE Thursdays, it's like the Weekend already....  Wednesdays I have my adult learn to skate class, which there is a track, so the lovely friend who I blogged about yesterday who we were destined to meet, well we run together every Wednesday for 45 minutes and then I have my skating class which we spend most of the time laughing at ourselves which is fantastic.  Oatie's dad has joined us and it's a ball!  I picked up Oatie and he ate his lunch with his dad while I (OK it's becoming an addiction) I jumped on my rebounder for 30minutes.... well it's a nice way to chill really,and so relaxing... and I just love it.  I dove in the Shower and got down to our ABR.  It's so nice to be feeling better!

That was when we got the call from my eldest's school.  That for a few weeks now, he's been playing up a bit at school and now in trouble with his teacher.  So Wednesday is our Activity free evening, which we usually bake, play together etc, so a good portion of that was getting to the bottom of his behaviour, most of it the things that we all went through as children..., not wanting to grow up, thinking about something, not discussing it and then it self manifests...to doing something wrong that he knew was wrong but doing it anyway.... and then we got on to Oatie, where he was really upset and comparing all the things that he can do, and that Oatie can't and finds that really upsetting.  Like being able to dance, skate or go to Beavers and will Oatie be "allowed" to attend his school oneday as my eldest knows Oatie is bright enough.  I remember the pure delight on my eldests face when we told him Oatie was likely to be a boy... Having just over 4 years between them, you could see all these thoughts of what they would get up to go through his head.  My eldest was feeling guilty to an extent that he can do all this stuff and Oatie can't.  After we went through systematically about the guilt process and why he shouldn't feel guilty etc etc.. I then told him how Oatie LOVES watching his brother and sister skate, he cheers the loudest and claps and shouts "good job" when they're competing.  I said that Oatie might skate on his feet but he can most certainly skate on a sledge... my friend who I was running with has also joined "the army" who would like to teach Oatie to skate one day.

I said having someone who's "disabled" in your life, humbles us all, but at the same time you can really appreciate what you do have, and make the most of the things that you can do physically, rather than taking it for granted.  I know that there are lots of disasters in the world, but Haiti has really struck a chord with my eldest so I suggested that if he wanted to combine appreciating the use of his legs and doing something nice for others, he could do a sponsored run in the spring, which he wants to put the money towards Haiti, I think the Wavin' flag young artists for Haiti's lyrics touched him, the bit about people generally forgetting and carrying on with their lives when people are still suffering.

I had considered Sibshops for my older two, but even after today, I'm not sure if that will be right for them or at this time.  It will be something I/we mull over and if keep at the back of my mind, at least I know it's there.

Meanwhile, my daughter and her friend got kicked in the stomach with snow thrown in their faces today at school, not Oatie related bullying this time, just because these boys think it's funny to do that to girls.

Oatie watched Dora the Explorer in French today, which he loved very much.  Here is Oatie taking a leap in self belief.  He stood up, wanting the Dyson toy Vac so badly, he  had to let go of the playhouse and take a step or two towards it, he hesitated, shall I do it, or not, and you could see him contemplating the pleasure of getting the Vac over just "looking" as I showed him how it wouldn't take his wait, it would tip back before he attempted it....

I think I'll be glad to climb in to bed today.... I know Oatie was!  Buzz Bench Daddy and yes his favourite PJ top is his Buzz Lightyear.

I will post about Oatie's First ABR experiences tomorrow, you might need some ear defenders...

Cavemen R us?

Oatie standing, he was a bit scared, he's never stood on snow on his own before

Today Oatie experienced 3 of his classmates laughing at Oatie's cerebral palsy, how he walks to a broad range of his physical limitations. It went on for a good few minutes with giggles between each nasty comment. So I did say to the lady in charge, I know kids will be kids but... I told her what I heard and I requested that that it's nipped in the bud as comments like that would become habitual and if not told it's "out of order" the kids will think it's ok to say when it's not.

Anyway told my new knight in shining armor what just happens as I found last time I needed to rally the supportive parents to defend Oatie when the anti-CP brigade bitch about Oatie. My new knight said how he thought we'd evolved from being cavemen... So I joked back that it appears that we still are cavemen just living in a different style of cave with electricity!

Seriously what's changed, survival of the fittest, the world is based judged on physical prowess, like the Olympics, Wimbledon, Football World-cup, Basketball, Super Bowl etc, The amount of TV coverage given to Sporting Events to Intellectual TV for example, and even then the sporting events TV coverage is weighted on "manliness".  (I admit, I too love the Olympics).  I used to love watching the London Marathon, and did so as a young child till we left the UK, since I could remember, I always cheered for the "Wheelies" as I thought that was so much more impressive what they did compared to the traditional "runner".

Look at another example where many societies globally have all this FREE help in-school out of school to the intellectually UNFORTUNATE, so if you're thick there is lots of FREE help to bring these kids up-to "standard" in mainstream schools. I have nothing against that per say supporting these people, but where is the FREE help for physically restricted people in the same abundance, I've also noticed how people with behavioral disorders get so much more "help" than the physically restricted too. But if you are physically restricted you could be a brainiac like Stephen Hawkin, but you're on your own, pay financially for your or your Child's 'restriction', many times over, whether it be a special chair, essential equipment etc etc and for a bonus, in general EXCLUDED from so much day to day as even today, modern buildings still aren't designed for an inclusive community, it's EXCLUSIVE!  This FREE help isn't free anyway, as it comes from our taxes.  So we financially contribute to the well-being of the intellectually unfortunate (I don't mind that in principle) but I get none or very very very little help for my son's physical restriction.  Where is survival of the fittest now then?, looks two tiered to me... if the intellectually unfortunate person is that way inclined, why not leave them be, like it is done to the physically impaired?  It should be, help those who need help equally in a way that would be helpful, I wouldn't have a problem with that, but why help some people but not all or have such a marked difference between levels of help?  Why does it appear that those who can't create a "Stink" get the raw end of the deal?

What made me roar with laughter is that a 10 year old girl came to school in a leg cast... (that bit wasn't funny..) but what was...Did she have to trek the 200m? NO mummy took her to the door almost mowing down children as this mum drove on the school playground!!! So here's the thing, you have a 'temporary' impairment you get special treatment, the amount of fuss inside the school was funny! Gets driven door to door, wouldn't want the broken leg girl to suffer out in the cold...... But you have a long term/permanent impairment who cares if it takes 15mins to go the 200m so you have to suffer, Ludicrous!!!

Then go inside school and have your cerebral palsy LAUGHED at by Neanderthals. I rest my case. Cavemen R us?

Blog Makeover - and Does "Swiper" the fox have CP?

Today I gave Oatie's blog a little, blogger makeover, rather than the snow background, there is now an ice background, I was going to take a photo of the ice of one of Oatie's brother or sisters ice-tracings and use that as the background.  My ice tracings are not textbook... (I'm still learning to skate) my one foot spin looks like a roller-coaster lol!  I like skating too, and I really enjoy our adult lessons, it's one hour a week, where Oatie's dad and I, (with our helmets and padding) learn something new and have some fun too.

Oatie played with his plush Swiper, and played role play with him and invented a scenario where Swiper was the Hero (from Dora the Explorer), yes it did involve his sister's Barbie car and the "people" that needed rescuing were also cars.  As, his Sister, the other day (after Oatie insisted on having Dora on his screen and the main TV for his WHOLE 3 hour bench session) came up with a huge story, defense and evidence on how Swiper could have cerebral palsy for a fox, and how, therefore he couldn't communicate his words, thoughts or feelings as well as Dora or boots, as what he says is very similar and limited to a few phrases like her brother Oatie, and how he would like to be a nice good fox, but he can't express himself verbally very well, so he would like to just play with Dora and boots and go on their adventures but as he "doesn't fit in" he gets excluded and never gets a chance to join in as before he does, it's always "Swiper no Swiping".  And on the odd occasion Swiper is allowed to join in the adventure like getting baby fox back to his mum, Swiper was the hero.  Oatie's sister also backed it up with further evidence on how Dora made her baby twin brother and sister LIFT her and boots up in the air in the episode "Super Babies", and how this was another example of Dora was further taking advantage of other people.  Well, anyway after the case was won by Oatie's sister, Oatie went into the playroom and found a mini soft squishy ball, and started to roll Swiper's chest and Oatie said "Swiper Bench YES!"...  since that day, Oatie has taken Swiper shopping in his cart, and taken him to bed and to me, it looks like he has kind of has taken Swiper under his wing.  Watch out world, Oatie's BIG sister is 5 and is one of Oatie's stongest Advocates, so if she has this much passion and spirit at 5...just watch and wait...

Happy New Year!  Love Oatie's Mum
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have a post in my drafts that I'm not brave enough to publish... yet!

Well the onslaught of the ski shop spilled in to, today.... I didn't realise how much it affected me this time or Oatie, which has made me wonder whether to shield him from such events or not, or then is it pretending that he isn't really physically less able?

It affected me so much, that today we had the worst manual bench session since March, Poor Oatie was full of phlegm and he didn't want to be there, he also I realised today enjoyed his new found freedom of Chronic pneumonial Bronchitis, he got to play all day and he as was I enjoying having some downtime.... and not be attached to a bench for that time.  On the upside it's the Christmas holidays so without the school run dashes etc, he and I both get some time to do other things rather than being as I call it a pingpong.

The bit you are "missing" was this whole bit about being on your own, but with emotion, how the only people who really have any time for you, are for example your ABR friends, people who themselves have the least amount to time to spare, have the most time to give.  Just a one-liner is all it takes and it feels like the biggest bested hug and I'm a hugger!  It also adds the contrast that these people have the least amount of time and the people with far more time are not there for you.  Your support network if it's like ours fits on one hand, the empty promises give the enticement of support, but is like stepping on a cobweb, you think it's strong as a web, but it's as strong as one strand and it's not really there.  You have the "brushers" under carpet who think, Oatie will be CURED, and he's just experiencing a life blip, like club foot and it will all just go away with time and he'll be just as able as you or I and on the really tough days, I just have to put on the brave face as, you can't be honest and say how it is as then you get accused of being self-centered and Yes I know there are millions of people out in the world suffering, dying of terminal disease, victims of war and famine.... and so many more people worse off than Oatie or I.  But at the end of the day, I'm just a ordinary person, I don't profess to be anything else than that, I have feelings like Oatie and I hurt too.  My poor Cat has had so many tears on her coat through out her life, she's 11, she's the one I always turn too, even though it severely messes up her fur, she's always willing to sacrifice it.  Oh dear, it's turning emotional again...

Well I had this whole bit about parental sacrifice how you'd chop or donate a bit of you, to spare your child, but that (I could be the only person in the whole world who feels this) feel that that is the easy option, sacrificing time on an ongoing basis for me is harder.....

OK, I have just chopped off the latter part of this post and saved that in my drafts too, as I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to publish that part either it ended up being a less emotional version of post "2:41", what if my few followers disappear too as a result?  It was the my version/feelings of a snapshot "word flow chart" of life with a Cerebral Palsy special person.... do I post it or not.... the hesitation is because it's the truth, well, as I see it.... and it's not what "people" want to hear....  OK going to find my cat....