Well this is a classic on the whole operation thing....

Just when my own GP didn't refer me and filed me, and my husband, Oatie and I ambushed him... I asked his Nurse to print off the consent form so they could talk to my husband about me as.... When I got the CT scan they told my husband the date but not where!  So I then had to spend 45 minutes on hold to find out the location!!!  She however didn't print off the consent form and our parking ran out, my husband put in 2 hours worth of money to park for the doctors but he was running late and with a special chap with us, you can't necessarily run like you would if you were on your own...

So, I saw the ENT (ears nose throat guy on Wed) and by coincidence the CT scan for my thymus to my mid face was at the same hospital as the pre-op and surgery...  So the ENT got a visual on Wednesday and then on Friday I had the CT scan.

The CT scan DID NOT show the lump!  I'm like WHAT!  I just wanted to tell you, that this doesn't give me much faith in scanning then... as there was a Lump still there after Fri as the Surgeon took it out on Monday!  So how on EARTH can the diagnostician not see the throat lump!  there was enough to biopsy it and it was large enough for me to feel inside...

How I know!  Well as you know it takes a few weeks for one part of the system to speak to the others, the GP surgery phoned to say that my CT scan came back clean!  Like nothing to worry about.  I'm like WHAT!!!  There I am tapping madly away on my phone on my speech app.  Then it was the same nurse who REFUSED to prepare the consent form in advance... and she said "I cannot discuss it with you as you are not your wife!!!" that was it, I put my phone up loud as it goes and typed how angry I was and kept on pressing it and pressing it till my husband who then explained what the racket was.  (Me protesting!! silently, but I was protesting!).

I was so annoyed that I told him to tell her that she should ask the lo-cum doctor to phone me back as I can't talk so how can they know it's me.... and I asked her for the consent forms to speak to my husband and she must remember me as when I had a go at her she used an expletive about me,.... thinking I had already hung up and I hadn't so I know I got to her!

Well anyway, we did get phoned back and the locum did talk to my husband and my husband asked if the lump showed up on the CT scan and the answer was NO! 

So if you have anything wrong with you even if the scan comes back clean and you gut is saying NO there is something there, PLEASE PERSIST, PLEASE PERSIST, this is categoric proof that you can be given a clean bill of health and NO you don't really! I even told the radiologist that I have a lump! in my throat!

So, in a nutshell, I have no idea what the lump is, it seems that I got radiation for no reason as that was flawed  (how can I believe any interpretation of that scan!!!) and have to wait 2 weeks for the result of the removed lump... like do i believe that then, same hospital...? and then 6 weeks to see a man who says to EVERYONE who has a voice problem, just sniff twice and your vocal cords will release!!!

I'm like REALLY!!!

Oatie is much better and he is chatting more abstract things, now I have shut up for 5 minutes los! (laughing out silently).

I am recovering...

Well the whole pre-op thing on the Friday was a total waste of time, I looks like a way for a department to have employment as they did all the same things on the morning of the operation and the the whole Asthma, the anesthetist wanted me to have my inhalers before surgery and I was told in the morning that I would be nebulised instead... and when I went down they said they wanted me to have BOTH! i was like I said that to them upstairs and (so what's the point of Pre-op!)

Well for an asthmatic my Sat levels was 99-100% they asked how that was possible with not having my inhalers and I was like I swim 10km a week... that's how!

Well, I've been silent for 1 day now, just 13 to go!

I won't know what the the biopsy shows for 2 weeks! and then after that I won't see him the surgeon for 6 weeks, so I think that's rather odd and he doesn't have a clue if it's a granuloma or a nodule wart thing... either way! it looks like they can both come back! and do, which is infuriating as some people have this operation every couple of months!! I'm like WHAT!!!!

Great, a 6 week recovery to have two weeks off to have it all over again! i am rapildy loosing faith in this surgeon who's textbook standard reply to everything is just sniff twice to release your vocal cords!

Anyway sorry for the complaining, I'm feeling arrgghghg as I can't lift anything heavier than a kette without it wrenching and the Surgeon said that that wouldn't be possible, and has totally dismissed the idea that I could have Cracked my voice-box 8 years ago when I was flattened by a snowboarder at Whistler... and Cracked a bone in my neck... which happens to be right where the lump is now and it states that that trauma can manifest itself years later!

Anyway I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive and well still as opinionated as EVER! Probably more so...

Oatie is fine, but he threw up today, I don't know if it was exhaustion from having a fabulous time with my friend or just different bacteria that he's used to at home as his hands are on the floor all the time... but he's held down cheerios today!

OMG Fubar is back! but I am LUCKY!

Well FUBAR is BACK!  Well you know I'm a stubborn mule, (I'd like to add old but, some of Oatie's followers might throw some EGGS at their screens) LOS (LOS= laughing out silently).  Well I might be a naive NEWBIE, but...

OMG the photo! no before you report me to Blogger it isn't a part of anyone's reproductive areas... it's VOCAL CORDS!!! (NOT MINE!!!) but what I'm ranting about today!

Well those who have been following for a while, will know that I have had a "lump" in my throat.  I lost my voice for a month around Christmas (yes my hubby cracked open the Champagne), and well since then I felt like something was "ripping off" if I was swimming fast or ran fast...

YES, I was also told that I was "imagining" it by the walk in clinic, and well my GP did say that he would refer me and it was a 5 month wait.... I waited and waited and well, despite our fabulous Canada Post strike, I hadn't heard and went to see him, taking OATIE and my husband, we kind of had to squeeze in his Cupboard of a consulting room, I'm sure he felt that my husband and Oat were HEAVIES!

Well as it turns out, I was NEVER referred to the Ear Nose Throat guy at all... I apparently had to go for a test that he told me it was "optional" 'something to fill the time, while I was waiting for the referral'  OK you can throw the EGGS now!  WHO, WHO has time like that to just saunter down to a clinic often down town 45 mins away to go and sit there and have a not very useful xray done to fill the time!

WHO more so when you're caring for someone who isn't independent AT ALL!  YES I know I should have gone back for more visits and pestered the guy, but he was good for his word till then.

What I thought was unforgivable, was that he left my referral letter WAITING on his desk on wait for the return of this "optional" scan... and then FILED IT!  YES he FILED IT!.... I could have had CANCER and he FILED it, not a single call from his office, like 'are we still your Dr's?', where's the test results, are you ALIVE!!!!!  WE'RE CONCERNED YOU NEED THIS SCAN..... nope NOTHING!

So anyway, during our AMBUSH!, the Dr said well it's probably nothing, so my husband said, if it's nothing then PROVE IT, right here, right now!

I went on to saying that my quiet speaking was a loud as I could get, and it's got to the ridiculous in our house, I'm using messenger from the kitchen to call my family down for dinner, and as I can't shout, I ask Oatie to go up and hound everyone and he likes repeating sentences so he bludgeons them till they cooperate!

So anyway, within one hour of leaving his office, I get an appointment to see an ENT!.  I went on Wednesday and..... well despite I have not much confidence in this man, I will get to that in a minute.... and think **** he's operating on my throat!!! The lump is so ANNOYING! that I just want it out!

Well here's how it went... I turn up, wait half an hour, they leave all the consulting doors open so you can wave at the other people, he has 5 patients on the go...  So I tell him about my symptoms and he's looking at me like MAD crazed ENGLISH WOMAN... I tell him it's on the LEFT,and yes I could see the eye roll that took place non visually with him.  So he grabs the device I was dreading the fibre optic which goes up your nose, along you eye sinus and down your throat! The classic "It doesn't hurt!!!)  Hhhhmmmm!!

Anyway, he pulls it out and says, what side did you say!  I'm like the LEFT! he said how do you know that?  I'm like I can feel it, it aches and I know it's the left....  Well you have a BENIGN Granuloma!  A growth that should be removed.... on the vocal cords....

So I'm like great it's benign, expecting to wait a month to have it out... relieved to know what it is... anyway he gives me antacids when I never even had heartburn when I was +70lb's pregnant, I think I've burped twice that I ever remember and once was trying on purpose with my brother after drinking a whole can of coke when I was 11!

Since looking on the net, I found out that it could be from Neck Trauma and he never asked if I had that, I did crack a bone in my neck 8-9 years ago from a obese out of control snowboarder who decided to use a 124lb woman (me) as crash mat! he came over a ridge flying mid air and I was downhill skiing in my beautiful parallels straight down looking elegant and thunk he just landed on me!

So, after he said that and I was counting out the weeks for month for the opp in my head... he said to his receptionist, "we have a queue jumper!"  I'm like well WHY??? he just looked at me?  Well I don't like the look of it!  (I'm like it's benign....)  I said why do I get to jump the queue, what about the other similar cases before me, and you said it WAS benign, so what's the rush.  He said that it HAS to be out within 2 weeks!  Still reeling taking a step back, I'm having admittance and next of kin forms to fill in... going WTF?



arghghghg is what I'm thinking.... so I fill it out, and hand it back, and the receptionist said is July 5/6th OK? I'm like sorry!!! did you say the week after next?  She apologised and said she wished it was sooner, as they are trying to OPEN ANOTHER OPERATING THEATRE FOR ME!  I'm shaking my head thinking WTF?  She's looking at me all teary-eyed... and I'm scowling at her like WHAT!!!!

Why would you be opening another operating theatre for me, when its BENIGN!  WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING ME?  I asked her repeat the date as I was shocked it was within 2 weeks.

Well the next morning I get a call, Yesterday, asking if I can go in on MONDAY they had a cancellation, they said they still wished it was SOONER!  !  !  I'm like WHY!!!!????  I don't know what to make of the mixed messages... just that it will be chopped out on Monday....

So, today I spent the entire day at the hospital.... for PRE-OP, don't get me started... about that!  (It's basically a waste of government funding having a department that you meet the anaesthetist and check that you won't die during the procedure....)  England is rather awful, but you spend one day there.  The idea is to make the operating day smoother... so I was told I'd be in and then out...

Now after doing the pre-op and being told that I'm a super candidate for being operated on... they say they want you 3 hours before and will be in 4 hours after, so how is that streamlining ANYTHING!?!?!?

OH! and the best bit is that they won't tell you what time to be at the hospital till the afternoon-evening before.  I did say that I have a 'special guy' that one person, stepped forward to look after my Oatie, and this lady has 4 kids of her own around my kids ages and one older.  And I need it to be done in the morning, so this poor woman doesn't have 7 under 12's in her home one of which has CP!  (as her 4 will all be at School for the day) so she'll have my eldest and Oatie for the day..... and if it's an awful time, then she may not be able to help me as her husband doesn't get home till 7pm!  They were like NOPE! you get what you get... I was like don't you have ANY COMPASSION!!!  I'm ASKING BECAUSE I NEED THIS, I NEED to know that my 3yr old CHILD who no one wants to look after, is and can be looked after by the one person who has offered/able to!  I wouldn't be ASKING if I had 3 able-bodied children.  I DON'T and I've given up today to help you do what you need for the day and I'm asking that you take in to consideration that I have a kid with special needs, and if you don't know already, NO ONE WANTS TO LOOK AFTER KIDS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS!!!!  (sorry for the generalisation, but you know what I mean...) and yes today I felt very much in the sphere of the world of disability... thinking OMG I thought going on a plane was BAD!  There is 'nothing' for the caregiver of permanently dependent dependents...!  I could have asked a friend to pick me up, but not being able to utter a single word, I can see that right from recovery room, I need someone who pretty much finishes my sentences to be my advocate to stand up for me.... as after all the other general anaesthetics I've always been able to ask for water or ask for my husband.

They said I would be in pre-op today for 1-2 hours, well I was there for 2.5 hours!!! YIPEE, this is what they did, they asked me to take any medication that I'm on with me, listened to my chest, took my heart rate and BP and my weight and height!  and THAT's IT!  like REALLY!!!  What was the point of that.  After that I went for my CT scan that was scheduled from our AMBUSH... so which they never told me that the CT involved intravenous dye!

So I will not be able to speak for 10-14 days, not a sound.... (I know, I should have got some sponsorship money in for charity as well those who have met me know that I like to chat...) and I raised £1000 for a one day sponsored silence when I was a teen (Yep I talk THAT much) so two weeks! WOW!    

Well I'm going out tonight with me fellow Scouters for a celebration of another year... and enjoy my last drink till I will get some "liquid lunch in" for next week!!!  lol!  Go Guinness!!!  As I can't swallow lumps for a while...

Well at least I have my Oatie, who will play the piano for me....

Well, if it is benign, I'm lucky! so very lucky!!!!, there is so much worse out there, so much worse, what I was struck, by being in the hospital today, was lots of people were in the halls, walking around, being wheeled around like it was their second home.... and all ages, and I was like, I know having a special one to care for is challenging, but at least we're at home and not in this sphere.  So my heart and best wishes go out to all those who are in hospital on an ongoing-long term basis...

Father's Day

Well our oatie has been a busy beaver with Father's day this year... he EVEN got his hands sticky twice for his dad... He made a ladybug paperweight at School for his dad and made a card too.

The on Friday he made a scratch (homemade) cake with me, he did all the mizing, we make it in reverse, so it's always on the sloppy side and add a bit of dry and a bit of wet ingredients so he can still mix it. As the mixture went in the pan, it still had little lumps in it, and I though it was so adorable that he sat there and mixed his little arms away that I left it how he did it, (usually I'd get the spoon and give it a final stir)... the cake was absolutely DELICIOUS and defied all baking oonnosieurs out there who say you should mix a cake in a set order... as well the "bakers bubble" was so nice that well, we kind of ate it before Father's day, so on Saturday Oatie and his sister mixed up another cake mix each while the elder brother made a bread and butter (soy) pudding and the chocolate icing.

we think Oatie's daddy had a nice father's day, I made homemade croissants (dairy free) for the firt time.... which were actually very nice... (I was surprised that they worked as well you're meant to use butter and we can't eat Cows Butter). Followed by a gorgeous cup of tea, with a cafetierre (French press) coffee... and then we opened presents, the kids had all made him something nic at school and make him some gorgeous cards too. We popped out to take Oatie's dad to Home Depot (B&Q) and (we NEVER let him go there lol!) and yes he came away with a cool drill (I think). It was a novelty, Oatie's dad got to pick his lunch treat...

The kids iced the bear cake with their dad, all bathed and about to eat dinner, watch a bit of a film together.

Had the best birthday for a decade!

The last few birthdays have been fairly awful really :( ... but this birthday was just wonderful.  It was definitely more enjoyable enjoying getting older rather than lusting after an "number", or lusting after an all able bodied family too.

As you could see Birthday Eve was fabulous and on my Birthday, I woke up to Tea and Biscuits (cookies) in bed, and they were German biscuits from my 85 year old German friend from the pool Ed.  (I was born in Germany! prematurely).

For breakfast we had a full English Breakfast, Bacon, eggs, tomatoes etc... the full works with a nice teapot tea.

The older two had skating class up in town so that was nice after we popped home and went to a local farm for Lunch, everything is home made, all the fruit and veggies grown there and they raise buffalo too.... which is delicious it's like an English Tea Shop, but Western Style...   After that, we popped home and then went Glow Bowling which was fabulous, Oatie won he got 116 and I came second... with 98.  We play ten pin in England so 5 pin is a real novelty.... and I have no idea how the scoring works.. but at least these bowling balls don't break your nails lol!

After that we had home made pizza, with the cake that I made the day before, and sat down to watch a film we've all be wanting to watch together for ages and had popcorn and birthday cake to finish.  (and yes, we almost set the smoke alarms off, we lit all 33 candles!, I cheated somewhat I used the number 6 & 7 from the kids previous birthdays to make up 13 of the candles....

So it was an absolutely brilliant day and definitely the best birthday in a decade!

Happy birthday Eve Mummy...

The kids are celebrating mummy's happy birthday eve... Usually I haven't looked forward to my birthdays since 25 lol... But this year a few people my age either are battling cancer or have died... In the past year that I know. So... I decided that I'd be thankful that I've reached another birthday rather than fighting it lol!

Anyway the kids are celebrating my birthday eve as they've called it. And they're having so much fun x

You can see the happy birthday mummy chalked on the drive behind Oatie x

Oatie and the Honey Farm.... where Pooh Bear lives....

On Friday, Oatie had a field trip, and my daughter did the Honey Farm two years back as she was in the same preschool where Oatie goes now. Two years ago, Oatie Screamed and HATED honey, he wouldn't even try to taste any, he cried and really didn't enjoy it.

Well this time, he tried all 6 different honey types, he had a go using the Smoker, he got to turn the honey centrifuge thing and he was so into seeing the Bee's looking for the Queen bee and and just loved every minute of it.

When we left, he said, "Mama, Pooh Bear lives here"

We had a quiet weekend, we bought my daughter a bunk bed, Oatie is thrilled as now he can camp in either room, he kind of breaks in and lies on their lower bunks and says "nite nite" lol!

Just 2-3 weeks left of School and wow this year has flown.