Oatie's mum is originally from England, you probably could kind of tell by the spellings that I use, and maybe some of the British phrases. Well, there was one funny Sitcom was called "One foot in the Grave" on the BBC with Richard Wilson as the starring role, (He's currently in Merlin also on the BBC). Well his Character Victor Meldrew's catchphrase was "I don't believe it", the link is some of his best "I don't believe it's", but if you love British Sitcom, then check it out on YouTube...
Well, I came home the other day, my older two had just finished an activity and my Oatie was at home with his dad, having a nap.... and I got home and the first thing I said was 'I don't believe it!', at which point my husband also British, roared with laughter, (he loved the sitcom too, but when we watched it we had never met!), we're also were both independently "Trekkies" Followers, please don't abandon Oatie's blog!!! Anyway, the thing was, my friends noticed I was being rather Broodie, and well you know I posted one about people not treating us differently because of Oatie and not mincing their words, well, I had my "wish", we were standing in a group of 4 ladies, and they were ribbing me for cooing at all the babies and how I would love to have our fourth but......, when my friend who's older than me, said how she couldn't be done with babies now, her time is past etc... and the chances of Disability is so much greater.... (At that point I was rather amused to see where it was going...) she then went on, to say how she would HATE to have a disabled child, and how horrible it would be, a HUGE ball and chain, and all the extra work and how you couldn't do everyday activities, the extra financial burden, not being able to go places etc etc etc.. and how she would HATE it HATE it HATE it. meanwhile the other two ladies had their jaws dropped open at I suppose the insensitivity, as I was standing there... I just said, Yep, it is tough, (yep she started the backtracking realising what she had just said!!!) but you don't plan it and well it's not like you can then say, oh no... lets hand our child back! Well, I wasn't offended, and actually found it highly amusing...at the open frankness to my face, but I did go home and said "I don't BELIEVE IT" I did it with the all Victor Meldrew's dramatics, and told my husband who thought it was really funny what she had said!
Oatie may be physically challenged, and not be able to communicate as my other two did at 3, yes at times when my arms are shaking and burning from carrying him over long distance or whilst I'm in the splits in the car-park, or when I don't know what he's trying to tell me, or when he's crying because he doesn't want to be left out and that's heartbreaking and I wish things were different, but that's not realistic and now how it is. Oatie is so special in other ways, he loves holding my hand, he's the first to give anyone a hug if they are feeling low, and he's caring and loving and there is never a dull moment, he give the best hugs and he's so jolly and he has the most polite manners! Laughing lots, he has a wicked sense of humor, like he could one day do "stand up". (I mean that would be funny for his opening joke!) and as you can see from all his posts he's a smiler... He's the dedicated ABR person, he will come and ASK to have his manual ABR, and If I say in a little while, he's says, "Many Minutes?" and then he'll haggle! If for some-reason he doesn't get his manual ABR at the end of the day, he'll cry... He gets his ABR machine every-night since we got it, which he also LOVES, but he want's both. He's super smart, and yes you wish this "accident" which called the brain damage never happened but it has so I hope you don't think I'm weird for saying that, I feel privileged to be with him on his journey and I have no idea what he'll be like as an adult, not even a guess, I get to see what he achieves, it doesn't matter how big or small in the eyes of others, like when he put on his own glove this week, it's exciting!, yes there are often more down's than ups, but the ups make up for the downs, to me the up's are exciting. Oatie, I LOVE YOU xxx
As if it wasn't enough to meet you, Oatie and the rest of your beautiful family! Now I get to hear about the "layers of your life". I sincerely appreciate your stories and your humor, your outrage and your sadness. Those insensitive "blokes" have no idea what they are missing - the challenge AND the joy! You reminded me of a story of my own - I was out doing errands and met the mother of a good friend of Adam's. (people NEVER knew what to say to me after his accident - always very awkward) Well, this time, the mother was obviously feeling very guilty (never visited Adam) and she blurted out, "It would have been easier if Adam had died. We would have known how to act then!" I was stunned and I have relived that moment many times - If I had my wits about me I would have said many angry and profound things. In reality, I mumbled something and walked away. "I couldn't believe it!"
ReplyDeleteOatie is a very, very lucky little boy.
Sharon
Dearest Sharon,
ReplyDeleteWe love Adams blog too, the posts are amazing! Thank you for sharing your story back.
How shocking that Adam's friends mum said that to you, that is just so horrible, insensitive and outrageous!, I think I wouldn't believe it either.
I find just when you think people can't shock you anymore, someone comes along and trumps them! When people say something which is so very uncouth, it takes me back too, and I am so shocked that I can't respond either, I chuckle later recollecting the film "you've got mail", with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
Adam and Aimee are both very lucky children to have you for parents too.
Love and huge hugs
Oatie's Mum
xxx