Friday, October 28, 2011

Ok... here's a new one... Diversity!

How do you guys feel about being labelled a label?

Do you mind, don't mind or prefer having a PC(politically correct) name...

I don't know, nor do I spend much time thinking about it either... Well today i was at our rec centre my older two had a skating seminar today, and well.. I was due to be at the rink till 12.30... we arrived at 7.30....

Anyway; as the times weren't published, I missed my skate and Oatie missed his swim today (I did take him yesterday just in case) and... my husbands car was stuck in park well he managed to get his car to go in the end... but he missed the school meeting.

While he was enroute to the adaptive ski meeting at Tim Hortons... (I know, well the adaptive guy was really nice, he said rather than driving up to the Mountains, that as he was in town anyway he could see us before/after his other meeting).

So I don't know all the in's and outs, but basically we can get Oatie up the mountain mid November on adaptive ski gear, he said for now he would be a sit skier with the view to him being a standing skier when he can weight bear for 20 minutes at least.

So that was exciting. Our dog application has gone off, and Oatie being the bright one that he is is already talking about having a dog so I had to explain that although he would be amazing with a dog, and be a really good owner... there might be someone who needs a dog more... so he might not get one or for many many years....

My friends dog, he played his ipad with, she curled on the floor and he sat between her paws and he played his ipad with her and even a game of monopoly together on his ipad. He/She LOVED it.

The meeting that was missed was rescheduled for the pm and in that we now know what we need to do before Jan's application date for Oatie in Kindgergarten for next year.

Kids wiped and all in bed... Mummy more wiped but not in bed... yet. However a nice man called Ravi cooked my dinner tonight (it's take out) lol!

So going to put my feet up with our takeout and a lovely glass of vino and (yes Phil the Brandy / Whisky is going down a treat... :)) .)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Paper et al. lol!

Here is tnew latest that we've been arranging that I haven't had time to blog about.

Tomorrow we're taking Oatie to the Dr's to.... get his application for a SERVICE DOG going.

I've filled out the preliminary forms and I have returned those and now they need signing off from a physician to state that he does have CP and that a dog would be beneficial for him.

If the application is application is approved, it could take 2 years for a dog to be trained just for Oatie, it depends they said on the needs of the person applying.

Oatie's future school already have one service dog attend school, our rec centre let's service dogs even pool side....

And...

We're taking Oatie to an charity/non-profit organization where Oatie can get some adaptive ice skating gear en route to Montreal for his ABR.

So I know it sounds totally insane, for a 6 day Trip....but, we're flying to Toronto, and staying the night in a neighboring town, Oatie can be fitted for special equipment and attend the Adaptive ice skating class/session. Then we casually drive back up to Toronto, have a rest evening and a whole day in Toronto I might catch up with some family. Then the next day we get the train from Toronto to Montreal and put our feet up. Grab another hire car and then the next day get stuck into our ABR training and then fly home.

So that's all been arranged and Oatie is so excited. Our rec centre has already approved the gear and, My older two's head figure skating coach has also volunteered to get Oatie going on his adaptive gear when we get back.

Friday, October 21, 2011

How can it be Friday Already!?

Where has the week gone and we haven't been as busy as usual!  Well, On Monday I did make a skating shirt for my eldest....  But apart from that, just the usual...

I did take Oatie Swimming twice this week, once on Wed and then again today. 

Today the Kids like Oatie, they are a highschool group I think I mentioned last week invited Oatie to join their swimming session.  I didn't want to offend them by saying no so I thought we'd give it a go.

Things I didn't miss about Parent and Tot Swim which is straight after:

  • I have to say it was really ODD not having anyone STARING at Oatie, and it was also very odd not to have anyone ask "What's wrong with him..." (I always want to retort back, well what's wrong with YOU for asking what's wrong with him?).

  • I really didn't MISS at all, the parents (not all of them but a few adults) who realise that Oatie is different and then their kid is happily playing with Oatie on the boat or with the plastic bathtub style boats, and then they try and drag their kid AWAY from Oatie, thinking that they can CATCH CP!
It was Surreal really, to be in a pool, and have Oatie excited and that's when his speech is most difficult to understand and the other kids Aides, UNDERSTANDING what he said without me having to decipher/translate what he's just said.  It was one of the most oddest experiences in ages... to be somewhere and people WANTED to understand him and tried and did.

The other aspect that took me back was.... that some of the teenage boys, came over and wanted to high five Oatie and just asked him about the boats he was playing with, another came over and just wanted to hold Oatie's hand for a minute.... and Oatie came home and said I have 2 friends at swimming to his dad.

It was so nice to be accpeted.  The only people who were FROWNING were the parents of the preschool learn to swim (other side of the rope) having so many kids who don't look like their kids having so much fun and you could see them trying not to stare...  Their faces said it all, they wished it was a brick wall...

For me, I found it hard to let my guard down... I am so used to having to be his advocate it was nice to just be a mum for 45 minutes... 

For me, I am usually on the other side of the rope (with the more able-bodied side of the population).  DEFINATELY not sharing their disdain for the people who don't look the same as them... definately not.... but I enjoyed just swimming with Oatie, and not having to answer why he's different all the time.

I got a lot of "ooohhhhhh... now I understand" from some of the kids aides... as I have always chatted to the kids not just the aides, (I see them when I swim in the morning or at the rink before our adult skate class) and I do get a puzzled look from some of them looking at me like am I chatting to them or poking fun them....  One was that group of 20 something's running through (funny enough... the swimming group that we swam with today at the rink) I posted a photo of them last skating season.  One aide has an adult male who she and another lady looks after and I always chat to him too, well I have done since we moved, well today these two ladies were in the pool and then one of them said, Now I know why you chat to our guys/treat them as equals (the people they aide) after seeing Oatie.

I don't know if we will swim with them every Friday depending on times... but it was really nice.

One of the best bits was that most of the high-school aged kids could all swim, which was so brilliant, just so brilliant.  Their aides they had with them, WOW, that's what an aide should be like WOW!

I am still wondering whether I can teach Oatie to Swim, I hope I can, (looking at him today I thought he could so do this....) it would be so wonderful for him to be Free in the water.

Have a great weekend

x

Friday, October 14, 2011

We went Swimming!!!

Well, we did it, Oatie went Swimming...

I went for a public skate and a quick swim, dove home and grabbed Oatie from his dad, and took Oatie Swimming.  I must take my waterproof camera so you can see his face, it is just wonderful. 

Oatie made a friend there, who was about the same age, and after a while he asked why Oatie couldn't walk... when I said not everyone can walk.  So he said, that's ok, put him in the floating boat and I'll give Oatie a ride.

When I went for my swim earlier, I bumped into a group who.... were special kids like Oatie, they were from the high school and I asked what group it was and that Oatie always gets' asked why he can't walk and it would be nice for him to just go swimming and make some friends too.  So when I took him back the chief organiser came and found us and said that we're more than welcome to come and join their special group...  and left an open invitation... which is really nice of them.

Slight awkward moment after the parent and tot swim.... I bumped into my Oatie's ex school... well the k-9 Oatie's ex-preschool is housed in the building but not really part of it.  My daughter went there for K, and she apart from being bullied did like it in the K.  Her K teacher gave me a huge hug, where as this other mum who often was in the preschool class last year as she is apparently a "teacher" I don't know of what apart to be hostile lol! refused to speak to me, not that I was bothered....

Better go and finish of the lunches, Oatie is super hungry after all that swimming.

Oh and on a parting moment, there was this one mum who was in a WHITE tiny See through bikini and well it was so transparent and it was indeed YUCK to be honest.... 

Thursday, October 13, 2011

I'm a stress free MAMA SHREK!

O.M.G I think I'm "mama Shrek".... but stress free...

I get fiery about things but NOT emotionally angry... I have a good vent but it doesn't cause me sleepless nights...

Well after the outcome, I got the farewell email from the room leader... and it was along the lines of the type that one would receive if you moved.... or changed preschool.... not one that this person from their own bad choices and stupidity caused us to remove our little guy....

So no mention, not even a single apology about putting this person as my son's aide... not a single shred of remorse..... When my husband spelled out the reasons for Oatie leaving she just nodded and looked blankly like in one ear our the other or who knows what.

So I wasn't having, oh "he was such a happy boy... pleasure to work with....." Oh no! I decided that i would put it for her in black and white, why he left and I did use capitals, on the YOU bits... oh I did.

It was more the cheek that to push the whole situation away and not bear any responsibility for her rubbish choices or actions... or lack of them!

My 6 year old, said that Grown up's are silly. If kids don't make good choices when interacting with other kids, the situation is mediated out, and people move on,.... she then went on to say when Grown up's don't agree or when one grown up says to another grown up that that grown up didn't make a good choice she said they get all silly about it, and act like a toddler!

So I am waiting for my "toddler response back" from this woman. I really don't care what she says... someone has to tell her that she really didn't make the best choice and maybe she won't inflict the same on another family.....

-----

Mama Shrek... well the bus since the change of driver over the past 10 days has been late/lost and forgotten children... Once again the driver is very nice and looks like their driving is fine. But we live out in the country so you can see a 10 minute walk away to your neighbours on the other side of the estate... This bus does circuits and it's like a Benny Hill sketch... the bus goes this way, then that way, then drives past misses your turn off, turns around comes back up your road, drives past your house....then takes another turn on the route it just was and well my kids spend 20 minutes driving around the estate.... doing laps and laps of the estate..... I'm standing outside and waving at the kids in this direction and then they wave on the way back....

I know people will have a teething period with a new route... but... it's Canada and well they're already hinting of colder things to come and while its mild its not a huge deal to wait 20 for the bus... but you don't want to be out there for 20 minutes in -35... not when you're the first and last stop... So I just told the office and stated how I don't want this lady to get in trouble... just that they are now late for class too... I just think an experienced driver might sit with her over a coffee and plan the route with her..... What did my older twos school do, they forwarded it to the transportation office.... so I was like oh no!


-----

Mama Shrek part III

Well... you might know but we are a Scouting family... and well they are having a "no one left behind campaign". It's about raising money for families, kids who can't afford to go to Scouting for financial reasons stating how that they deserve a break from their hardship for a few hours a week. Well I couldn't agree more..... One of my Scouting friends sent me the link to the campaign.... but it just made me annoyed.....

However, it doesn't state anywhere that they want to help physically less able people, not a single bit.... so the "no one left behind" is for able bodied kids.... so does that mean that Oatie isn't a person? Because this campaign would leave him behind.... or just because you can't walk.... you are not allowed to be a Scout or a Guide? Having been in the Guiding and Scouting world since I was 7, and done it all from Brownie up.... I know that not to be the case at all, Baden Powell wanted EVERYONE to be included, and he meant everyone. I have one of the very first Scouting handbooks EVER, yep a 100 year old book! For my Queens' Guide, I had to study the life of BP and Agnes... and the formation of Scouting and Guiding. I have even been as a child to the Scouting Mecca of Brownsea Island. So don't tell me Scouts Canada that people who are not as physically able as my older two, can't join! It goes against the very principles of Scouting!

Yes I did email Scouts HQ in Ottawa... as Oatie would like to be a Beaver next year... and why not!
------

So Phil, there is 3 people down, now many more billion to go???


Well on an UPBEAT note, you know when people say one door closes another opens.....

My friend who LOVES JJ, he inspired her to be an aide but she was telling me about all the things she is learning and at my age (we're 4 months apart) has found her Niche in life and is just so happy and she is an awesome mum and the passion about her being an aide, is just beautiful...

I will blog about the new exciting things that we have lining up from Oatie... so exciting.

This week, I had no intention of being Mama Shrek.... at all.... but well, these things do pop up together sometimes... I will not and cannot stand for prejudice for people outside the normal distribution curve....

Maybe I'll get some green body paint just to really be Mama Shrek!....

---

I almost feel like going back to school and studying to be a disability rights lawyer! I really do...

This unfairness really shouldn't be here in today's times. It's so last Century!

Love

Mel
xxx

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The outcome...

Well... after 2 hours... the rest of the saga unfolded.

WOW!  Unbelievable...  The problem is that NICE people can make bad decisions and NICE people can be rubbish...

We found out where the issues really lay... and it was and became apparent to where it did lie...  The head of the class (who wasn't there till date).  and it wasn't the school board lady who was just as shocked at we were....

We found out that SHE (head of the room)was responsible for Hiring the aide, and SHE had 4 days of training worth on the speech app... and SHE was responsible for ensuring the room was clean and.....

This lady (very lovely actually) it's that what makes it hard... SHE never told the school board who she hired as his aide, the school board were stunned like we were (after the whole bullying thing last year).  SHE wasn't even there in the room, I found out last week that she wasn't working there this year  (till this all kicked off)...

Still total silence on how, when the room or toys were cleaned or IF they ever had... my husband said that it was a "crickets moment" = dead silence... ROL (Roar of laughter).  - but it's not funny!

The most amusing bit was.... that this aide (who disliked my son so very much) apparently has been on an OT course an the INFAMOUS TOILET SEAT that this aide says DOESN'T fit... well according to the School board lady and the Room leader (SHE), both said it wasn't a bad fit... the AIDE (with OT training that she thought so highly of...) WASN'T USING IT RIGHT!  What a total and utter joke!

The room leaders take on why they didn't apply for another aide?  Well, it was because this aide (super stressed out, doesn't like my son and let him get totally bullied last year) had been on an OT course so therefore most qualified.... hhhmmmm (yep, and she couldn't use the toilet seat right so it hurt her back!) must ask her for details of THAT course... NOT!

Well he is now officially left, I have to say that I am so sad for Oatie... when we told him yesterday, he switched off his Ipad... came over in a very slow crawl, looked at us with his gorgeous eyes and had the biggest monkey on the lip pout, climbed up and said.... "I no words... but Oatie is very very sad...  Oatie LOVE School, Oatie loves Friends".  I asked him if the nice man aide he had ever growled at him for no reason and he said no, never... I asked him if this aide growls at him (when he isn't being naughty) and he said Yes..... Oatie then said "Oatie is good boy, but AideX still growls at him! but Oatie good".

Yep the victim in this is yes, my son.... but it's always the case isn't it... the one who benefits from going to school, forgetting his CP for an hour or two gets treated like XXXX.

The funding, i found out isn't that transferable... it's school board to school board....

We're now on the waitlist for another preschool that is attached to my older two's school... where the funding can be transferred....

I suppose I'm just sad that after all the XXXX we went through last year with this preschool.. I had more of an expectation that things would go right this year... and not have all the anger and upset that we had last year...

I do feel sad for Oat, this morning he said, "No School for Oatie and looked sad".  Unfortunately for him my sons and daughter take after me... they will put up with endless amounts of XXXX and just stomach it.... if they like the social aspect of it or the actual organisation...  (or if they feel that they have a right not to be bullied... and try and ride it out). ( I did that with the Girl Guides I got bullied for years by this horrid lady, but I loved going on the adventures with my friends) although I did transfer after 3 years of it to a different unit when we moved.

I took Sharon's Advice...

I just couldn't send Oatie back to school... I just couldn't....  I got him all packed up and ready and then my legs were like lead.... like they wouldn't move.  I wish it was different, I wish that people who are different to the normal distribution curve got treated fairly and with respect.

They, after my 8 page email... they called a meeting this morning very short notice... so I coudln't get anyone to look after Oatie at 3 hours notice... so I sent Oatie's dad to advocate for Oatie and not take their rubbish, or defence.

The bottom line is... they have let Oatie down, they suck at their jobs and really they should be SACKED!  If they were in a company and did that, they would have had warnings and well I'd would have had them out before they could say teacake!  So why do people get away with it in "education?"

If you can hear fireworks...well thats why... I was wishing I was at the meeting... but My husband went (for my throat) and he doesn't say much, but a true Scorpio, when he does, he says it short sharp and to the point.

So I'm at home waiting to hear how it went down.

We decided that we would have to take him out from Nursery this year well from there... 

My debate was Pre-school Vs Pulling him out...

I feel like a horrible person, selfish...in fact.... on one side, I LOVED my break/tiny bit of independence it was just over 2 hours M-F but I LOVED it...mingling with other adults... swimming, skating and running with my friend.

BUT!, on the other, this past week it's transpired that... they lied right from the onset, they didn't even try to find him an aide and well the sharp verbal comments that the poor guy is hearing all the time is just unprofessional and wrong... and they are just short with Oatie.  I said to my huband, would we leave any of our other kids with this aide, say if she ever offered to babysit.. and we instantly like NO! so why would we leave her to be with Oatie?  She isn't alone with him at school but the now head of the room isn't much better.  She's never wanted him to be at school as Oatie messes up her OCD of her planned morning.

Sharon was right, thank you Sharon x 

I'll let you know how it goes....

Friday, October 7, 2011

Letter of complaint - Sent!

I didn't take Oatie to School this morning...

Well, I started the ball rolling.  One letter of complaint to the town mayor.... about disabled access etc etc...

The other to Oatie's preschool.  Lining out all the "issues", it was totally non emotive (very proud of myself).  When I've actually decided something, it doesn't really bother me anymore emotionally / no stress .... (I kind of like that change about me since I've had kids).


Well it's all kicking off, (the other parents have bough their popcorn to eat while watching on the sidelines ROL!) I bypassed all the people who kept on saying that they will do something and just in the end, emailed the head of the head of the head...I got back an email to me within one hour of my email being sent.... and stated that after Thanksgiving that she'll arrange a meeting.  I decided that they can have one final meeting with me, the decider....whether I believe they will or have the capacity to change.  I told her I don't want any of their defensive rubbish...

Well I really didn't pull any punches with his preschool, as quite frankly I don't care to be honest.  My decisions been made in my mind (no change, he leaves...) (change he stays) and I'll see how it plays out... It will either it will go one way or the other way. ROL!  I covered from the lack of snow shovelling on the disabled ramp, to how they couldn't be Bothered to switch on the disabled doors, to the toilet seat, to the bitch comments to the lies....I'm just not having my gorgeous Oatie stuck in the middle of it.

I was wondering whether they have a mould problem (It's a portable building), hence all the illness at the school... the Kindergarten is the same... as this dad told me that his son who was with Oatie, has been ill there for 3 weeks.  My daughter was in K there last year and I moved her to a different school.  600+ students at her new school and only a light cold... (she caught from Oatie!)

Get this, this was the cheery on top..... but met a dad this morning, who's older  kid did, and younger kid will be going to Oatie's pre-school.  Anyway, he said that he KNEW this aide was returning permanently as... he bumped into her in the Summer ROL!  Where as they told me they were looking....hmmmm


Oh and when my husband spoke to the "jaw wagger" Head of Oatie's Room...(she's all speak and no do, hence I emailed her bosses/bosses/boss) when asked how often they cleaned the toys... there was total silence on the phone.... NICE!  After hearing that...my email was sent off within the hour.... ROL!


The Gym Creche I popped in today (all the ladies I know they've even taught me and my older two to skate) said that they would have Oatie hands down... no problem..  it's hit and miss, if he gets a slot... but they are really sweet ladies.


Happy Thanksgiving.... !

Love

Mel
xxx


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I'm annoyed, so very annoyed!

I wrote this on Monday, but slightly tentative about posting... but what the heck, I'm about to take my gorgeous no.3 back into school for some more **** so what the heck!  At least the Peppa Pig link is amusing ROL (Roar of laughter)

Apart from me catching whatever the kids caught mean cold virus, my darling daughter caught it and is still smiling the sweetheart.

You know when you're over 30 when you can't remember what happened last week (roar of laughter ROL!).  So I might have told you about this already....

Well I did managed over an hour of ABR, but my whole thyroid thing is really arghghgh!

My idea day would be that I woke up early and did an hour of ABR before the kids go to school but, well that's my aim.  I've been totally off Soy now for 2 weeks, so I'll let you know what happens...  I am trying to embed ABR into our life but with less stress, as last year I went at it like I would if I was running a half marathon.  I'm trying to keep on top of the house, chores, cooking laundry etc... AND get my health back and get in his ABR too.  AT least he has his machine each night.

As you know my older two love to skate, and well I have found out that in our province that people seem to hop from one thing to another and in a non rude way have no loyalty.  For example, our local dance school, the standards have been declining and me being me, have been faithful and loyal to the dance company, and well this year it's even worse.  I feel like that I might as well be throwing dollar bills on to the newly relocated firepit in our garden!

My kids love to dance, my older son has danced for 6 years and my daughter for 4 years.  They both started when they were two.  My daughters ballet class they all look like "peppa pig"  (click on the link and you can see the episode lol!) from a British Cartoon jumping and what makes me annoyed is that well the classes are really going downhill.  Yes, I wanted a more light hearted environment where they could have fun.. (as they are so dedicated to their skating) but also learn... too.  Not to leap around like flat footed elephants.  (no they can't say well that's their dexterity at that age... as my daughter can also do a full rotational jump on her ice skates) and funny enough this year my daughter is dancing to a ballet piece for her skating competition programme this year, when she skates it she has beautiful arms, gorgeous leg extension, looks like a ballerina and she just loves it.   It's choreographed at her level, unlike this ballet class which is tomorrow and I'm like nooooo I don't want to take them.... I know it's getting worse at the studio as I danced from 2-18 myself.

Two other families (about 20 families left the year before last) who did the lets hop to another studio haven't looked back, and well I'm in a dilemma, do I pull them and they don't dance this year or do we just tough it out...  (then kind of kick myself for being loyal, and giving the dance school another chance or riding out the storm...) so as it happens today (tue), my eldests teacher was in the building at the front and desk, dressed for dance.... but didn't take his classes lesson, and left a 10 year old teaching them, which frustrated them all as she was clueless what they were doing.... (I understand if someone is ill, but the teacher wasn't).  My own dance teacher broker her foot once, and she was still in the class shouting out instruction and had another senior dancer demonstrate.

Meanwhile, back on the preschool frontier... I found out that after 8 months from when his gorgeous aide gave notice (he wanted to start his life with his fiancĂ©e back home) was with Oatie, the School have done NOTHING, yep!!! NOTHING.... yes you heard me right....NOTHING NOT EVEN AN ADVERT TO FIND A NEW AIDE FOR OATIE!  So he had a woman who only sees the BAD in Oatie (Like she did last year), and to the point I don't want to take him in anymore...   This aide phoned today (probably wondering if Oatie had left which means she's out of a job) to see how Oatie was, my friend has named the preschool team, the "Bitch club" as that is what they are doing to Oatie.... The nice head of the preschool room isn't there this year, and they didn't even tell us, I emailed her and just found out!

Yep, Oatie went in for a day and was ill again!!!! I really think that they don't clean the preschool room... like at all, I've never seen them wipe a single toy...

So I am going to try the "state help" and see what happens, I've emailed the intake line and well you have to wait 10 working days for a reply....

On a good note, still in disbelief, that we could tax deduct ABR, Oatie's dad put a case together and fought their ruling and they agreed in our favour... still in shock...
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